Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Time and Energy

Well either I have had no time or no energy to write lately. A lot on my mind I would have liked to shared but usually I would start writing and run out of time or I would think about sitting at the PC and my sore hip/bum would detour me from it and then I would just fall into bed and fall asleep.


It's been a busy week so far. Monday was spent catching up on laundry. I hate laundry. Monday night football and laundry...they almost rank equal except for the fact I can go without Monday night football in my home but I can't go without washing clothes. The one thing on this earth that ranks higher on my list of dislikes is SNAKES! Due to the fact I live next to a train track and the only thing that separates us from the train track is very thick black berry bushes. Du the bushes my back yard is now a haven for those disgusting sneaky creatures. We could get the black berries cut down but the birds love them so and I love the birds. We also greatly enjoyed the black berries this year and the cobbler my mom made us from with the yummy black berries. Also, the bushes provide a barrier between our yard and those snakey, disgusting two legged creatures who want to possibly do us or our home harm. So....I guess I am stuck with the snakes. I pray I can get over this stupid 'phobia' of them but so far it has not happened.


So how did I go from time and energy to snakes? It's a tired mind. The mind that wonders how it can go a few hours without having talked to the Lord. HOW!?!?! On fleshly auto pilot that's how. Going with the flow, but I want to change that flow. I want my mind to constantly centered on our Father. I want it (me) to be in constant conversation with Him. I want to find the hours have passed and I realize I didn't have a negative thought or an impure thought or an angry thought because my conversation with him was all consuming. That's what I want.


"what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" I have heard that so many times. If it had the meaning I thought it did for so many years I could have given the Governor or California a run for his money in his prior life. BUT as I have aged, as I have come through the experiences I had to face, I will tell you it's not the kind of strength you would imagine. It's spiritual strength. The body is broken, the pride is broken, the heart is broken, my spirit is broken but the Spirit of God is more free to work within me and through me.
'My Friend LLL and her Beloved Instigator'

When they take a wild horse off the range. It might be full of fear or it might be full of rage but we do know they are wild. They will buck, they will kick, they will bite until they are tired and worn down and it is then they submit to the rider...their master. Are they weaker in strength...no. They have succumb to the truth that all their fighting will get them no where but miserable. Once they submit to their master, they are brushed, fed, watered, petted, and enjoy unity with their rider....their master. The one that will lead them to safety, to nourishment, to affection.


That is me. I have fought and fought my master for so many years. Fighting against obedience. Though I know he cares for me, though I know and believe in His sacrifice for me, still that old nature rises up and tries to pull against the reigns. BUT he loves me...he loves us, he will keep ahold of the reigns and take us where we need to go. To accomplish what we need to accomplish. There is not much time and there is not much energy but I do know I have what I need to do what He would have me do. I just need to listen to His commands and follow the gentle pull of the reigns.






1 Samuel 2

2 "There is no one holy like the LORD; there is no one besides you; there is no Rock like our God."

No comments: