Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Coming to a close - Goodbye 2014 and goodbye to my 40's.

Well I pretty much blew it on blogging in 2014. I would sign in many times and then delete what I typed. Couldn't seem to form any coherent thoughts....then I struggle to see clearly. Yes I need glasses and I am putting it off. Don't judge! Ha! Then my PC crashed....I did get a laptop later but I don't seem to type as well on it. Much better now than before though. So here I am in all my typo glory...ready to ramble on.. In June a few days before the school year came to a close there was a shooting at our high school. It was an emotional and overwhelming day. School was just a few minutes short of starting when an announcement came over the PA system the school was in a lock down and students were told to go to the closest classroom. They didn't take it too seriously at first until messages started being received over cell phones and ipods. That morning I chose not to watch the news and then I got a text from my oldest girl..."mom, we are in a lock down." I asked her if she knew why...but she didn't. We thought it was probably just a precautionary event..like what had happened a few months earlier at a dance held at the school. I then received a phone call from a friend who works for the Portland School district and she said,' Malissa, there was a shooting at the school....have you heard from the girls." My heart fell into my stomach....I got off the phone and then turned on the news. I attempted many times to contact my other teen to no avail. Fear gripped my soul. Oh how I prayed and prayed!More text messages...phone calls. Then....on the news...a report from the wife of the assistant principle...She said she was in communication with her husband...she asked him if anyone had been shot...he said, "yes." I sobbed. Literally sobbed! I couldn't believe it was happening...at OUR school. I watched the news, I prayed, I texted family and my pastor, I prayed, I texted my daughters...I prayed! Then my oldest texted me and said, "mom, someone is banging on our door." I told her...don't worry honey...just listen to your teacher and be quiet. All the while feeling like throwing up.It was about that time I heard that the police were making a sweep of the school. Then...a text came to me...my other daughter...she was safe...she couldn't get her text messages to go through. I could breath again. It was about 2 hours later after a tense wait in a mall parking lot that I had both my girls in my arms! hallelujah! That day there were two families there who did not gt to hold their children. It was a sad and painful time. I will never forget the feelings of that day. My high schoolers did not get to take their finals and summer started wonky. It was then a strange summer. This last June brought me a new grandson....I was blessed to be in attendance at his birth as well as my two older teen daughters. It was a glorious birth...aren't they all. He is so beautiful and joins 3 other beautiful and perfect grandsons. We then had a placement of a foster girl. One of the most difficult placements we have had. Not just the poor little thing herself but dealing with the state. A hateful caseworker and ridiculous demands of our time and energy. The affects the little one had on my youngest daughter and my two grandsons I had to make the decision to have her transferred. It made me sad to do so...but it was necessary. It was such a relief. I then made the decision to take a break from the state. It is such a sad mess. Such a broken system and yet they are in charge of precious children. Just terribly sad. July and August brought great sorrow and struggles regarding one of my children. When you think you have experienced great trials...and then a new one comes along...it can break you down like water on salt. It was a dark time....we came through it. Changed but we survived. In August my California Navy kids moved to Oak Harbor Washington. It is only a 4 hour drive. We have been blessed to see them about 4 times now. I love it. My grandsons love going to Nana's house. The first time they went to leave and head home my 4 yr old grandson got big giant tears in his eyes...ugh! Then we reassured him he would be back soon and they were....now it's not as hard when they leave. My two older girls were in the musical 'Little Shop of Horrors' and the oldest had a solo part. I was so proud of her...proud of both of them. This was totally out of their comfort zones. Closing night we had 16 family and friends in attendance. It was fun and really blessed my girls. All my kids are now in school. They have good teachers and classes...with the exception of a couple of teachers.... My Washington kids announced at Thanksgiving they are expecting their 3rd child. I am excited. I do hope for their sake they have a little girl...but not matter what...it will be loved. They also adopted their first dog. A 2 year old Springer Spaniel Pointer. She is a sweetheart and so well behaved and great with the kids. Her name is Stella. The baby is due in June but we are hoping for a May baby since their 3 year old has a birthday in June. Whatever will be will be! The middle schooler enjoyed a season of Volleyball though it is difficult when you are not the strongest player on the team to even get a chance to play...makes it hard to better your skills...but she stuck with it and worked hard. I now babysit a 3 month little precious boy. I want to bless his Mommy who is a single mother of two. I remember how difficult it is to raise kids as both mom and dad. One income is not easy and leaving your baby in order to go to work to make a living is not easy as well. She is doing a great job and I hope to be a blessing to her as someone she can trust her most valuable possession to and as someone who prays for her and encourages her. My parents are doing as well as possible. My dad is frail and has started using a walker. He celebrated his 81st birthday this last August. His parents and siblings all passed away by the age of 70...he never expected to reach his 80s. I am so glad he has. My parents have been married 62 years. I am thankful. My kids are growing all too quickly. Seems time truly does fly! They are all so wonderful...even the adult ones. I am so blessed and so grateful to God. If my children are the only thing I contribute to the Kingdom of God then a blessed woman am I. There was an opportunity to join Casting Crowns as a backup choir come this January...in New York at Carnagie Hall....ON my 50th birthday....seemed like a dream come true...Oh how my heart would swell at the thought...but it was not meant to be. Makes me sad....but that's the consequences of choices in life. Be it my choices or the choices of others. It's a huge bummer....my all time favorite Christian Band, in New York at Cargagie Hall? Wow!!! But I will pray for those who did have the money to participate. I will pray for Casting Crowns. I will pray for the Holy Spirit to fill that Hall on January 23rd...at least that is something I can do to participate. I guess that's that in a nutshell. Just the highlights. A new year....a new desire to blog more....God bless 2015. God Bless America. God Bless the servants of God. May millions come to know His saving grace this coming year...and maybe this will be the year we see Jesus return. God Bless you and keep you