My daughter in Japan

The exchange student we had for the month of January was amazing. She fit our family perfectly. We were so nervous and yet again...God called us to it...and He worked it out perfectly. She was so sweet and gladly accepted our crazy house and our affection. Two days before she left we were in my car alone and I mentioned how she would be leaving soon and I couldn't believe it. She started to cry. Oh my goodness...that touched my heart. I figured she was ready to go home. The day she left, she sobbed and sobbed and didn't want to let us go! We all cried. Even my baby girl. She was so broken hearted to see Mayu (My-oo) leave. It was so difficult. We have stayed in touch. What a blessing. She calls me Mom. So I consider her my other daughter. God is amazing at the plans he makes and the blessings he has in store for us. Ones we would never imagine in our wildest dreams. I never imagined myself having a exchange student. I never imagined falling love with a young girl from Japan...a mommy kind of love. I never imagined what an impact a young lady from Japan would have on my kids. I never imagined our family would bless a family in Japan. I can't wait to see what else in store. I am excited, but in no hurry, to see how the Lord will use my kids in ministry....maybe even in Japan.

I have a daughter in Japan!

On it's way out...

February is already on it's way out! I just can't seem to say it enough...time sure flies! I have tried reducing my activities in order to create more time for family and my home and yet there doesn't seem to be more time. God knows what He is doing. Times are hard and will get harder. If the days were long and seemingly never ending, our hearts could not endure. Watch the news for an hour and see the truth in that.

The family is going great. Alot of illness this year...stomach flu and resporitory stuff. There is never a moment goes by that someone is blowing their nose, sniffing, coughing or clearing their throat. Quite an orchestra! But other than that all is well.

I have lost 17lbs and gained back about 4. Fatigue has returned. I felt great for a while and then wham the energy was gone. So frustrating. Last week was not a very good diet week. I do so much better when I plan our meals in advance and have everything purchased. So easy and yet many times I just don't do it. But I am still not giving up. I MUST get some of this weight off. My poor body needs me too. If food just wasn't so darn good! Talking with friends at church last night...we discussed how when you get sick to your stomach, such as stomach flu, and then you eat something or smell something and it adds to the feeling sick....you usually never want to eat it again. I came up with a great diet. Get the stomach flu and make yourself eat everything that you love...maybe once you are better you won't desire it anymore. But then again I worked for someone who had stomach bypass surgery, once she returned to work she discovered that everytime she ate chicken she would throw up. Guess what...she continued to eat chicken. She would shut her office door and we could hear her throwing up. Sad, but true. I would probably be just as bad.

An exciting event for our family is a new puppy. After our last puppy, several years ago, I told myself I would NEVER get a puppy again. Too much mess and too much work. Well...I have felt the need for a little dog, complete opposite of our two moose dogs at the moment. I have been searching for about 8 mths. I wanted just the right dog. I finally found her. She was at the Oregon Humane Society and she was THREE months old. ugh!!! But I saw her and knew she had to be the one. We went and met her and fell in love. She had 3 holds on her. They were able to remove two of the holds while we were there but we had to wait 24 hours for the other hold. It was a painstaking 24 hours. No one showed up for her. They needed to pick her up by 10:30 am....I called at 10:35...thought it kind to give a few extra minutes. As soon as they said she was still available for us...we jumped in the car and went. She is great. ALOT of work...but great. The kids adore her, our Great Dane adores her...our Whiner (we call him) does not adore her. He doesn't really even tolerate her. She scares him and irritates him. He is better this week, but still gets irritated by her. Other than that...it's been fun. She is so much like my kids...my daughters. She is a sweet, snuggly little spitfire! She is a 5 1/2 lb half Papillion and Pomerian. We named her Mia (Me-ah). I think I was needing a baby. Haven't had a baby placed with us for almost a year.

Wonderful news for our family is my Hawaiian daughter and her family will be moving to San Diego. My son inlaw has re-enlisted for 6 years and was assigned to San Diego. We had hoped for Washington State but am happy with SD. It's a world closer and cheaper to get to than Hawaii. They will be coming to visit in March. Not sure when but know they will. Can NOT wait to hug them and hold them all. It has been a year February since I was with them. Too long. The longest I have ever gone without seeing my daughter. We are all very excited. I am praying she finds as nice a townhome as she had in Oahu. I will greatly miss having a home connection in Oahu though and if I ever go there to vacation they will be on my mind all the time, seeing the all the things we did together. I am very proud of my son inlaw for the decision he did. It was not an easy one. I am one happy mama!

I have not started any new ministries. I did join a ladies bible study. We meet once a week. I am still on worship team and enjoy it very much. I have more control of my voice since I had my thyroid removed, that pleases me greatly. Not sure what the Lord will do with me. Right now I am caring for my family, and interacting with bio families of my adopted and foster kiddos. That hasn't been easy and I pray I am a good witness. I spend most of my time caring for my home. If that is all I am ever called to do, I will be satisfied....but I am sure the Lord has more in store.

Going to attend a Chris Tomlin concert in April. I can NOT wait. I love praising and worshiping with 100's-1,000's of others!!! It's amazing.

God is good all the time. I love Him and I hope my life glorifies him.

2013....Happy New Year, again...already!

Like is but a breath, a vapor, a mist...the bible refers to and what truth once again. As I look over a few pages of my blog, starting at my last entry which was August of last year, I can't believe the time that has passed and the events that have unfolded and it is all in the blink of an eye. Some of that is good....most of it not so much, especially when it comes to my kiddos. Oh how I desire for them to stay little and young.  When they become adults (I know, because I have two) it seems that time slows and then you can catch a breath and enjoy the pace...then what happens? They give you grandchildren. It's back to the races as you watch your sweet grandchildren spring up before your eyes. But, what amazing beauty God has blessed us with. Life is full of sadness and heartache and tragedy....but the thread of beauty is always there. Sometimes blatant, sometimes subtle. blatant would be to hold a newborn and sit in awe of the miracle that you are beholding. Subtle would be to catch a glimpse of one of your children sitting, doing nothing but just sitting there and have tears well up into your eyes as you marvel at the beauty of that creation! My focus is always the children, whether they are members of my household or a little one in the store or one in a far away country who is needing a home. There is so much beauty in this world to behold, and it swirls all around us and I appreciate it, I glory in it. Such as Mt. Hood. I gorgeous, majestic mountain that I can see from the area I live in....a creation of God that deserves appreciation....but have a child walk past me and let me see the beauty of their souls through their sweet eyes, it will bring me to tears every time.

Much has happened since August of course. We have one foster boy living with us. A great kiddo. So handsome, so tender hearted, gentle and kind. It's been good and bad having him reside with our little guy LB. They are a year apart and play hard, but they also destroy and cause quite a ruckus. Playing hard means more noise and minor devastation left in the wake. That's just the way it is. Only they could through a cloth ball the size of a baseball that is so light it can't even be measured, hit the pull string on a ceiling fan causing the chain to swing up and hit the glass, shattering it all over my mothers bed. Yeh....who would have, could have thunk?!?!? Not me and for sure not them. His reunion with his mother eminent which is good. We thought before Christmas but now it appears it will be slower than that. Which is fine. He loves his mom and enjoys the visits but doesn't seem in too much of a hurry to make things final. There is history and the history would make anyone hesitant. Thankful for his sensitive spirit.

Since August I have dealt with tennis elbow and oh how painful. In October my dad suffered an episode which they are classifying as heart failure. It was a moment of dizziness and instability, and then weeks of weakness. Many tests and everything came out good, oddly enough. His heart is just wearing out. My parents celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary. I had the honor of organizing that event. It wasn't what I had wanted it to be but they seemed very happy. All their kids (5 of us) were there and the majority of their grand and great grands were there. Church family and friends also came. It was a good time. My parents looked happy. Another one of the moments of beauty and blessings.

I had the remainder section of my thyroid removed in December. In 2000 I had the left side removed due to enlargement and this time the right side. It was pretty darn big and uncomfortable. Still recovering from that little stint! Taking daily meds has been ok. Wasn't looking forward to it and it would be nice not to have to...but it is what it is. The week after surgery I had the stomach flu along with 3 of my children...that was fun...NOT! Eventually all our household and a few other family members had it as well. Christmas was here and gone before I knew it. I wasn't ready for it to leave...but it did Anyways. New Years was quiet and relaxed....!

I have family members still unemployed or underemployed which is so sad. Things are not better in that area. Yes unemployment is down, but they don't factor in that most of the employment is part time at 20 hours or less. No one can make a living on that. Still hoping things will turn around.

January we welcomed a Japanese exchange student. Have never hosted an exchange student before so this exciting. A little nerve wracking at first, but put faith in God knowing that if he allowed the counsel to pick us then God had someone special planned for us. We picked her up on the 8th and she is wonderful. Does not speak English well, but she tries very hard and she is just a beautiful young lady. Very sweet. We are enjoying it...especially my youngest BG. They adore each other and are having a blast. My BG gets ALOT of attention but doesn't always get the play interaction she needs. Mayu does that. After school they will play for a good 2-3 hours. Very endearing. It will be hard to let her return home, but I am sure she will be more than ready. A month away from home is such a long time. I am grateful for the opportunity and so are my two older girls.

My Hawaiian kids are doing good...except my daughters Navy husband is deployed right now for a month and a half. We are thankful though he was here for the holidays and for my grandsons 3rd birthday. That was an answer to prayer. He is deployed to San Diego right now switching out his ship. Always feel sorry for my girl when she is alone. sigh!!!

What is in store for 2013? Who the heck knows....we don't even know how many hairs are on our head, but the one who created us does....so I choose to stay by his side. I am sure this year will be much like all the other years, bad times, good times, and great times!!!

My local adult children, my son and his family are such a blessing. It's great to have to have a continuing good relationship with my dinlaw. Plus I get to see my grandson weekly. For that too I am so grateful

For you for this new year: The Lord Bless You and Keep You , the Lord make his face to shine upon you and give you peace.

Bye Bye Summer Vacation

I just don't know how other mom's do it...how they manage to find time. I had hoped to write more during summer break...I even cancelled all appointments for the month of August...too the month off from Worship Team at church and yet...summer vacation ends this week. I am, again, profoundly sad. I am not ready for my kids to go off everyday to the places called 'school.' I like them home. I like for us to get up when we are ready and not because the alarm insists. I like that my kids have to be called in for dinner when the sun is just beginning to set and not because they didn't finish their homework or because it's dark before dinner. Yeh...snivel whine! I should be saying how happy and thankful I am that my children have a free education. That my daughters as well as my sons can get an education. I should be saying I am grateful my children are healthy. I should be looking forward to only one child at home during the day. I should be excited that I only have to fix snacks and lunch for one....and for all those things I am sooooo eternally grateful. BUT this is my blog and this is my end of summer Va-K whine!!! Stick around...the next showing will be in 365 days.
Goodbye Summer Vacation!!!
Attached are a few, very few, pics of the summer activities. We had birthdayS every month during the summer plus a few other activities. Picnics, waterparks, camping, parades, festivals, Oregon Zoo, and swimming.

Gifts

God is Awesome...His love is amazing. His grace is bewildering! I love the Lord and gave Him my heart...and several years after that I gave him my life...and yet there are times when I take it back and do what I want...and then fail miserably. With that said...it always blows me away that MY GOD, MY SAVIOR will still bless me. I don't mean bless me in the midst of my sins...but will bless me in spite of my sins. This brings me to this post.....When I look at the face of this amazing, beautiful, precious little girl...I get blown away....HE chose me to raise this precious one. There are thousands upon thousands that God the Creator could have chosen to raise these kiddos in my home...but He chose me. He chose me to raise this little girl...HE chose ME! I do not take that for granted. I am so thankful and so grateful.

This little one came to us when she was 2 months old....she became ours 1 1/2 years ago....yesterday...she turned 4 years old. FOUR!!! This little being makes me laugh...cry...feel pride...feel joy...feel love! She did not come from body but she sure has planted herself in the deepest part of my heart....and because I feel this way about ALL my kids (big and small) I am posting a pic of 'most' of them....I cherish each one.

Thank you God my father for these gifts!

Still Rollin'

This is a quickie to say I am still here...still following the Lord...still loving my family...still doing the best I can on a daily basis. I am hoping to start getting some plans and schedules in place to help me get ahold of life a little better...knowing full well my Lord is still the one in the lead. I hope to blog a little more often...it amazes me how there are so many women (and men) out there who blog reliably and are also soooo busy...I don't know how they do it. Maybe having organized thoughts isn't as hard for them as it is for me...LoL
Here are some pics....thanks for visiting

 My beautiful Easter Girl

 Our first camp trip of the year

 My family had the opportunity to meet Jackson Galaxy

(Host of 'My Cat From Hell' Animal Planet)

 Two of my grandsons wrestling on a beach in HAWAII!!!

 My handsome son and his beautiful family

My daughter and son in law

Must be Spring

We Western Oregonians are sure having bi-polar weather. We had two days of clear, sunny, and pleasantly warm. Then we had a wind storm. We then had 2 or 3 days of solid pouring rain and in the middle of the night...we had snow! Today is mild and sunny with a nip in the air. Last week I would stoke the woodstove up in the morning to get the chill out of the air, the sun would pop out soon after and begin to bake the roof. By 2 p.m. I let the fire burn out and I would open the windows. Crazy. I do, however, love the cool/cold days with all sunshine. I did alot of spring cleaning, with the help of my beautiful mother, during that week. The sunshine sure helped.
The daffodils are blooming, the Daphne is budding, and other spring flowers are just popping their head out of the cold sun starved soil. I have seen pictures of the gorgeous "I love spring" forsythia. Love that stuff but don't own myself. Maybe again someday. It is such a celebratory bush. Having survived the cold dark winter it just suddenly explodes with vibrant hues of yellow. I am ready for spring...my favorite season. I loved the days I lived on the back roads of a small Eastern Oregon town on a large farm. Loved seeing the earth waken from it's slumber. I loved seeing the frenzy of the birds preparing for nesting. Seeing the cows give birth. Baby animals popping up everywhere. Spring is so full of life. I guess that is one reason I love Easter so much. Not the bunnies and chocolates kinda Easter, but the resurrection of my blessed savior. Death did not have victory...no our creator did. He gives us renewed hope, He gives us a total cleansing from our wretched ways (ok...speaking of myself) and allows us daily to walk in his grace...in HIS love. Resurrection Sunday comes to remind us, it comes to have those who walk all year without God the father a comfortable chance to walk through the doors of church again. Once there they either hear His word and make a commitment or walk back out the doors only to return at Christmas. Spring is beautiful. Spring in my neck of the woods doesn't have snakes slithering about quite yet. Spring is where people begin to grumble about the rain and rejoice on the days the clouds stay at bay and the sun comes to visit. I need spring....everyone needs spring. We need renewed. Praying for renewal.

Changes...

2012 already? Geesh...I didn't really have a grasp of 2011...but I can say with confidence I am glad to see it go. A year I really didn't want to hang onto anyways. In
October I went to Hawaii and stayed with my adult daughter and 2 grandson for about a week. Then we all flew back to Portland. Dreaded that 5 1/2 hour airplane ride as much as a root canal, but it went great. I had alot of people praying us over the Pacific. We had an almost 2 year old who was in full 2 year old form and a 4 month old. I was afraid that half way home we may just get chucked from the plane due a screaming toddler...but we weren't and he only let loose a couple of times. Thank you Jesus...and that is sincere!
After arriving home we got a call soon after, that the state would be transferring our newest foster baby to a relative...We were told originally that we would have her until January and there was no family "suitable" for her to be transferred to.  So, when the state called it was a surprise and the kids were saddened...me on the other hand, was sad to let her go and yet relieved. That 9mth would NOT sleep well and it wasn't just the fact she woke up every hour and half.....it was when she did wake she would burst into a high pitched scream instantly. Whew doggies! That gives your heart a jolt! Made a VERY exhausted foster mom!

November arrived and was gone in a blink of an eye. The Hawaiian girl is trying to go here and there and enjoy being in her old stomping grounds but sadly she didn't want to drive my "bus" so she had to rely on me. I had a home and 11 people to care for! We did a few things and it was fun...long story short...she is now driving herself around in the "bus." Still gets bored watching t.v. and checking Facebook..but she survives. I know she is enjoying being around family and but she also misses her home and her schedule very much. I know she won't miss the fact her 2 year old and my 3 year old love to make each other scream in anger...yeh...that's a joy!

December flew at us and left us in the dust. Christmas was nice. All the family was together except for my son inlaw who was out in the Persian Gulf somewhere on a Naval ship. The kids enjoyed themselves very much as usual. We didn't have snow (which is not unusual for our part of Oregon) but it was nice Holiday anways. We reflected on the birth of our savior and had CHRISTmas music playing in our home 24/7. Was glad to clean up the tree and decorations and make the house feel a little cleaner and more open. We bought a used artificial tree last year and I am so very happy we did. This part of Oregon has beautiful Christmas tree farms ALL around...but I did not miss the mud, the mess, the getting the tree in the stand and the sharp dead needles when we took it down.

January started with my husbands birthday...his birthday is on the 1st. Our 7th anniversary was in January as well. We actually got the funds together to escape for a couple of nights. We only went down the road to a hotel...BUT the hotel was quiet, we didn't watch one kids show and the room had a jacuzzi tub and king sized bed. Ahhh...that was so needed. It had been over 2 years since we had time away. We need it more often that's for sure! I am thankful for what we did get though. I celebrated my 47th. It seems weird to be so old...almost 50. Not horrible...just odd. January is done  and gone...

February is here and will probably be over in a couple of days, or that is how it will feel. So crazy this time thing. We are trying to make plans on how and when my kiddos can get back to Hawaii...times like this I so wish I had budgeted better...made more money or was married to someone wealthy. It is so hard to make plans because I  have so many I am responsible for here. I would take them all with us...I would LOVE to share this with them. Free housing in Hawaii for short vacation...that doesn't come along often. Oh well.
February continued....
We had a baby boy placed with us recently...an almost 3 month old. He is a doll, but we are still trying to figure him out. The feeding, sleeping, comforting thing. He was sick when he came...found out at the docs he had RSV. Poor little guy. He coughed and wheezed...but he seems to be over it now. We call him Rio. It is part of his name...so we just shortened it and gave him the name of our current favorite kids movie. It works and its easy for the kids to remember. This little guy is has Latino and Native American in him...he is so handsome. Long, thick black hair, long dark eyelashes, and dark eyes. He has the sweetest smile and a sweet spirit. He will be a tough one to let go of...if that is the direction this goes. One never knows....my 'Baby Girl' loves being his big sister. She is always quite concerned about her "baby brudder!"

Tomorrow my oldest baby girl turns 24...I can handle turning 47 easier than I can handle my baby turning 24. She is my gift from God...the baby girl I so prayed for. Oh what a blessing she was and is. She is now a beautiful wife and mommy trying to figure out this adult life. Doesn't like that part much...but she is doing it and doing it just fine.

One big change in our home is the empty spot in the 'boys' room. Our oldest son decided he no longer wanted to follow ANY or our rules. He did not want to repent of the evil stuff he did and he preferred being foot loose and fancy free. He is only a Junior in High school. It's been a tough decision but one that I am now thankful for. I am sad and thankful at the same time. Sad because I know it's a HUGE mistake for him to live with his Mom but thankful too because the discomfort and stress of him living here has dissapeared. I will continue to pray for him. He has made some life long choices, ones that are going to hurt and others deeply. Too bad that some kids won't listen to their parents.

This year for me is going to full of changes. Some changes I have already made and some I know I will make, but the others will be revealed to by God somewhere down the road. He will let me know when the time is right. I am excited and yet a little nervous....as usual.

My oldest daughter will be returning to Hawaii on the 27th. My heart aches deeply everytime I think about it. My daughter inlaw will be her traveling partner this time...I am relieved and sad at the same time. It will be nice to have our house get back to 'our' normal BUT I will miss them more than words can say....it hurts so so deeply. I will be glad when the 27th is over. I dread the day they leave and just want to get it over with. I pray God would bless me to go and see them in June for the baby's 1st birthday...I NEED God to make to make that provision.....

We are blessed. We are human...we are screw up...but still God in all his awesomeness still chooses to love us and bless us. Praise His mighty name. I am eternally grateful for His love and His forgiveness.

The heart of this foster mom

The state called today...another baby needing placed. It is such a bag of mixed emotions for me. I don't know if everyone goes through this or it's just me or it's just because I am still relatively new at this compared to others. Since my first placements all stayed. BUT...how I feel is nervous as all get out. I also feel a little excited and I also feel very sad. Nervous because I have no idea what is coming. Will the baby be cranky?Will the baby be overwhelmed with what just happened. Will the baby be needy? Alot of questions. I feel a little excited because I just love babies and I especially love baby girls. Getting to get them all dressed up and pretty. Then there is the feeling of sadness...know that a broken person just created a broken family. Especially in this case...knowing that as I am typing, the state is on their way to remove the baby from custody. So very very sad. So, I can't be all just one emotion. I can't be all nervous. I can't be all excited. I can't be all nervous. BUT I can't be this one thing...faithful. I can rest all that I am into the great 'I Am.' He knows all about this little one. He knew she would be coming our way. He knows what she needs, what her mama needs, and all her family. He is the only one who can do anything about it. I will be the tool to care for and love on this little one until....until....until whatever happens happens. I do appreciate the opportunity to pray for all of them...all the family involved. I pray with all my heart the little one is not scared when she gets here. That will be heart wrenching. I pray...I mean PRAY and ask God to bless her with peace as soon as she comes through our door. That her heart and mind will feel at ease. He will do this...I believe He will.  To be continued......

I didn't look back

The state came and took 'the baby' today to take her to her new, possibly temporary home. I am honest and will say I was a little sad when they called yesterday to tell me. I felt like she would stay...but I guess it was just wishful thinking. It is out of my hands and I don't know her future or what she truly needs. Only one does and that is the Almighty Living God. This is the door he opened for her so, I prayed her through it. All week I have prayed for her and her situation. I have prayed alone in silence, prayed alone out loud and even prayed at 'Worship' practice with some of my brothers and sisters. That tiny baby girl is covered!!! If anything evil tries to come against her, it will not break through the barrier of Gods mighty angels. His hand is over her. So thankful I have Him to put my trust in.

So, she is gone...the crib is empty. Forgot one of her bottles sitting on my kitchen counter drying...that tugged my heart a little. I know this ministry isn't about me...because 'me' wouldn't have let her go. This ministry is about God's business and I am a tool...and....that's a great thing! "Oil me up Lord and use me!"

So put the baby into the car, kissed her, talked to her, shut the door and walked away. I didn't look back...just have to keep looking ahead because God's got more in store.