Thursday, January 16, 2014

I have many times signed on to write a blog post and then there are too many interruptions or I feel I have nothing of value to write...so I end up signing off. It's been several months since I posted last. Our last three foster placements were all transferred, either to other foster homes or family. It was a huge challenge this time. The last wee one we had (or was allowed by us) to have the power to keep our home in a turmoil. She was only 3 years old (turned 4 while she was here) but she had a very challenging personality that did not mix with the majority of my household. She, for good reason, had a very negative spirit and could throw the biggest screaming tantrums I have ever experienced. If she didn't have such a negative effect on my family, I really believe she could have been loved through it. She did get returned to a parent and in this case I believe that was a good thing. So, we only had her 4 1/2 months and I hope we were able to plant some seeds of love and joy...because she sure needs that. The state transferred while my other kids and I were in California. I was not happy about it and it all started coming down the day before I left for our trip. It was stressful and ugly and for that...I decided to take a break from the state...not the kids but the state. That is the most challenging aspect of foster parenting, for me that is. Enough on that... We decided to send my husband to Texas for a visit with his mom and some of his sisters. I have been trying to get him to go but he always backs out. He would want me to go but its so difficult finding someone to help with kids and dogs so it was just easier to send him. I finally talked him into going alone and it went great. He was thankful he went and so was I. We then decided to send the kids and I on a vacation. We went to San Diego to visit my two grandsons and their 'parents.' Hee hee. Ok...I went to see my daughter as well. While we were there we surprised them with a trip to Disneyland, California Adventure, and Knox Berry Farm. They were shocked and excited. I had bought each of them a Disney Tshirt and wrapped them and had them open them at my daughters house. It was so cute to watch their faces. I had to leave my daughter and grandsons behind when we went to Anaheim, but they handled it well and we were only gone 3 nights. We had a great, yet exhausting, time. The rest of our vacation was spent at my daughters house. I loved being with them. My heart started to ache a couple of nights before we had to leave...just the thought of leaving them was so painful. Never knowing when we would see them again is so hard. The boys get so sad when we leave too. Little did we know though we would get some great news.... Once home, we barely adjusted to being home when my dad took a tumble in their carport and broke his hip. My mom and I spent the night in the hospital waiting for him to have surgery. It all went well. The next day was Thanksgiving and I woke up from a nap...sick! So Thanksgiving was...different, but some family members showed up and pulled everything together for my mom. It was nice. Dad spend a week in the hospital. He had problems getting his bowels working right. He was in a lot of pain. When he was discharged they admitted him into a rehab center...aka Nursing Home. He did not handle that well and I don't blame him...nI have worked in them...I know what they are like...but it couldn't be helped. He needed to get stronger before going home. A week later my mom and him checked him out without permission...they were done. He is now doing great. Needs to get stronger...but otherwise doing great. Christmas then showed up in the blink of an eye. I wasn't ready. Had the few gifts bought that we had agreed on, but I wanted it to last longer. I enjoy the lights, the music, the feeling...it passed too quickly. One highlight for me is on Christmas Eve, my two oldest girls (15 & 16) and I sang trio of O'Holy Night. I loved it. It was a blessing to me and from reports, it was a blessing to others. Here we are, into a new year already. This year will be different...it will be better! My husband and I will get healthier and smaller. Praying for the foster kids that will be coming into our future. I still have a heart for adoption but we are getting older. My husband turned 50 on the 1st of January and I will be 49 this month as well. It is in Gods hands. His will be done. This year will be focused on digging into Gods word daily, increasing my prayer life, speaking more positive in all situations and taking better care of myself. As my pastor said, "rebuilding the temple." Amen! God is leading...God is Good...and God is my King!

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