Tuesday, July 26, 2016

It has been so long I couldn't even remember how to sign in....15 minutes later and now I'm almost too tired to write anything. But I will....

The last two years have been pretty rough and as the saying goes...if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all. So there you have it. Several times I would log in to write something and it was always something negative and dark...so I would delete and log out. Not everything has been bad, but the bad is what drains the energy...no energy means no writing.

The highlights from the past 2 years....

I am now 51 and not liking that number so much. Yes, it's just a number, but sadly my body matches the number. Hard to keep hopes and dreams alive when you feel you have truly crossed over the hill and are cascading down the very bumpy other side.

I have gained some grandsons...I now have 5 beautiful and wonderful grandsons. Oh  how I adore them! They range from 8 to 1 years old.

I lost my dad. He passed on May 23rd, 2015....it was so deeply and incredibly difficult. I still find it difficult. As a Christian and a believer in eternal life...I guess I shouldn't hang on so tightly to the loved ones...be happy they have been freed from this world...but my flesh aches and my eyes leak...and it just sucks! I hope to write a blog post about that....eventually...

I lost three beloved pets. My Great Dane (10yrs old) Lily passed in August of 2014, our perfect and very sweet black cat (16 years old) Princess passed this last February, and my handsome and dearly loved gray shadow...my Weimeraner (12 years old) passed this last June. Another deeply rough loss....that's all I can type about that....hard to see through blurry eyes.

We gained a couple of new furry family member....LeeLa a 2 year old Chihuahua a year ago July and we now have a 9 week old kitty by the name of Prim.

We have fostered 17 kiddos so far but have been on an extended break. A couple of the kiddos within the last couple of years were pretty hard on my and the family, but the hardest part has been working with the state. The demands and the rude and ignorant caseworkers. It just gets to be too much. If all I had to do was answer the endless phone calls from caseworkers, and attorneys, and placement workers, and counselors, and CASA worker and the list goes on and on.....then it wouldn't be so bad but to have 5 kid in 4 different schools and a husband who works 11-12 hour days...I needed a break. I also babysat and beautiful little guy for over a year. He was beautiful and I loved him so....but boy oh boy was he a challenge...but I'm beginning to think most little ones are anymore. So I am on break and truly seeking the Lord on what is next. So..."LORD what is next???"

My oldest son moved him and his family of 4 to Salem, Oregon. Only an hours drive away but oh how my heart ached to see them go.

My oldest daughter and her family of 5 now live in Northern Washington...stationed there by the US Navy. Closer than Hawaii but quite a drive. I get to see them more than ever but still not close enough for my liking.

My oldest (at home) daughter graduated in 2015 and started at a community college, got her first job and just purchased her own car. She is now making plans to move to Salem to live with her brother and his family. Another pain in the heart...but so thankful it's not with a room mate, friend, or (ugh) boyfriend!

My next oldest, at home, did not graduate on time so we are looking at other options for her. She is a sweet and beautiful young lady but allows the pressures of this world to weigh heavy on her mind. She just started a new job. With a ton of prayer....we will see what direction this road goes.

My next daughter has struggled horribly since school year 2015. It has not been easy or pretty. It's heartbreaking and to be honest, many days I feel like throwing in the towel. It really takes a toll. I love her so and believe God has wonderful work set ahead for her. I pray daily....He will get her there.

My only, at home, son finished his first year of middle school. It wasn't the easiest but he is such a sweet sensitive boy. Trying to find his way. I dread the new school year coming. I need prayer warriors that's for sure. He was in  track for the first time and did amazing and loved it. We were notified just before school was out that our middle school will no longer have sports. We don't have many options in our neck of the woods so it...well it sucks. Can't be anymore eloquent than that.

Then our youngest. Oh my goodness how she has grown. She started wearing glasses and has gotten so tall. She does the best she can. She is a happy girl. I am begging God to help her stay that way. Praying the turmoil in the house does not affect her adversely.

That's the update for now. The husband and I are carrying on....striving to keep our eyes and hearts focused on God. Not always easy.

If you actually took time to read this blog...thank you. I hope to get back into posting again....God willing!

My handsome boy (he loved when I called him that)...Sirion...the one that makes me hope that God does allow pets in heaven...I hope this guy will be waiting for me with my loved ones.