Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The new babe...

So our Sweet William has experienced many first in few short days with us. Christmas, meeting family, going home, and as of today...his first snow. Our precious boy is healthy and happy. "Thank you Father for the blessing of a new life. Thank you for giving him the breath of life. Thank you for blessing our life and our family with this new little boy. Bless him oh God with Guidance, wisdom, health, happiness and love. May he live a long life, one full of Family, Friends, and LOVE!"
William A. H.
Getting ready to go home from the hospital

Meeting his aunts and uncle

A big ending

So our year here in the Porter house is ending with a big bang! Not only did we get a new grand baby but we also got a new son in law. My daughter, the new mommy, married her love on Monday the 28th. Our pastor conducted the ceremony. It was quiet, small, and yet sweet. My poor hurting girl (remember, C section just on the 24th) after a crazy morning, came hobbling into the church to put on nylons (which she ran in the process) and a pretty black dress she bought while pregnant. The husband to be came in, threw on his Navy uniform and realizing he forgot the white shirt that goes under it (and show at the top) and his dress shoes. But they did it...they became husband and Wife.

Meet Mr. and Mrs. Hernandez...




The circumstances for which any of these past events in their life happened may not have been of Gods design, but I know God can turn all things around. I know He can use these past events and ones to come into eternal life changes. I know that God can & will use them for his Kingdom purpose.

'My Father...MY God and Savior, I ask you to bless this new marriage and this new family with your Love, Grace, Mercy, Wisdom, and peace. I pray they would follow you and your will all the days of their lives. I pray they rest in you and your provisions. I pray their days would be filled with love! God bless Raul, God bless Kari, God Bless William! In Jesus Name...Amen'

Thursday, December 24, 2009

My favorite day of the year...

Christmas Eve....this has always been one of my favorite days of the year as far back as I can remember. That's the night we would attend church and be reminded of the sacrifice of our King...being born part human in a lowly state. The night I would receive earthly gifts like Baby Dolls, Barbies, nightgowns, slippers and such.....BUT today I received one of the greatest gifts...a treasure really! Today in a hospital in Portland Oregon my grandson.....
William Arnold
arrived at 1:15 via C'section. Too precious for words. Tons of black hair. It was a grueling labor towards the end but all turned out well. She is now laying comfortably in her hospital bed, holding her first truest love and enjoying every moment.



Here he is....prebath...better pictures later.....


Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Waiting....


Still waiting for the grandson to arrive...looking more and more like a Christmas baby? I will suffice it to say 'she is HEAVY with child.' Waiting for Christmas to arrive....I can wait, the kids barely can. I love the week before Christmas. It's so full of excitement and joy (ok...for many or for some). I enjoy the lights and the warmth of the decorations. I love receiving cards. It makes it a joy (the only time of year) to go to the mailbox. I love the music...it plays 24/7 in our home. I quite often find the kids playing around the Christmas tree. Not with it but around it...with Barbies or Batman or whatever...they just enjoy being near the tree. Enjoying the soft glow of the lights. Waiting to see what comes of the trials God has allowed us to be in the midst of. Waiting on the Lord....sometimes it's a joy...sometimes it 'longsuffering' that I have faith will turn to joy.

Random pics of recent......
Christmas Party and the arrival of our Sailor...My girl is very happy. Her love will be here for the birth of their son...um that would be MY grandson (teehee)!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Win an HP

Kelly's Korner 'blog' is a pretty amazing blog. Such fun and interesting stuff to read and pics of her gorgeous family. NOW she is recieving amazing products to review which and has turned into give aways. Today her post is an HP giveaway...go check it out. Yep I am posting about this to increase my dim odds of winning one....but not like I haven't posted about Kelly's blog before. There are others, like Boomama on her blog giving away an HP also. So....here we gooooo.......

Soon....


My 'adult' daughter K is expecting my grandson on the 27th BUT...just last week I told her I 'felt' like she wouldn't make it that long. I have felt she would have him early. We went to her check up on Monday and she is dilated 2cm and her cervix is thin...sooooo....I'm thinking our little guy will be here way before Christmas. The dad is still in training at Great Lakes Illinois and will be coming home on the 18th but I don't think my grandson will wait for that date either. I know this is a heavy burden for them because they so want to share the end of her pregnancy together and especially the delivery...but as we know...these babes make their debuts when the heavenly father says it's time. So this 'Nana' is on alert. The baby shower is Saturday so it would be respectful of the little guy to wait until that's over but if not I'm ok with that. I'm ok with all of it...it's those pesky parents who want plans to go as....welllll...um planned.

So....soon I will be posting pics of my new little precious guy. The newest love of my life....so stay tuned.....

Monday, December 7, 2009

Shortcomings

The last few writings I have posted have been kinda trivial...probably just because I wanted to just focus on simpler stuff, but it's not because there isn't heavy 'stuff' on my mind and heart.

Daily I 'work' at keeping my focus Godly. The waves just keep crashing in...pounding. Then there comes the rogue waves. They can be killers but fortunately I have my life vest on. Jesus keeps me afloat. Doesn't mean I don't get big ol' doses of salt water in my face but He keeps me from sinking.

What has been hard this week, and it's not the first time, is the weariness of treading . Oh how I want to be free....free falling! Just floating through the air knowing that I have 100% confidence in the one who gave His life for me. The one who suffered unbelievable torture and pain. The trials I suffer are NOTHING compared to what others suffer....NOTHING! My kids are not starving, my kids are not ill and dying. My kids drink clean, clear water. We are not living on the street or in a homeless shelter. We are not being woken at night with bombs exploding. We are free to worship our God openly....and yet I allow the trials I suffer to rock me to the core. I have faith, I speak faith, and yet in my inner most being I can not always REST in this faith.


BUT each day I hold onto the one who created me...that each day, each year the faith I have fills me fuller and reaches deeper and deeper inside of me. Someday I know I will attain that level of faith I desire....that day will be the day I then breath my last breath and then come into the presence of my savior. The 'race' will be finished.



Just this morning this is the Scripture the Lord brought me to:

James 1: "Consider it pure joy, my brother, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."



The testing of faith is what develops perseverance. I want to be mature...in Jesus. I want to lack nothing. Full peace. Full freedom.



So as I wrap this up...what appeared to me as my shortcomings are actually my immaturity in my faith. That each time I find my self splashing around in a trial and feeling like I should be stronger..., it is then I am persevering through and gaining strength...I am gaining maturity. What I see is I am not expected to be perfect out of the gate, I am to take each trial and allow it to build me up "consider it pure joy." The joy is not the trial but the next rung we take in getting through that trial by our faith. Faith in the Father, Faith in the Savior, Faith in the Holy Spirit. The faith that we are saved by GRACE!

Ephesians 2:8 "For it is by Grace you have been saved, through faith and not from yourselves it is the GIFT of God, not by works so that no one can boast."



A gift...it is through the Grace of God we have been saved eternally. The faith we have in that...in HIM is what gets us through. Persevere through the trial with Joy because we know God has saved us...what more do we need aside from eternal life? Nothing!
NOW...... Now I need to meditate on this truth day and night....before during and after the 'trial.' Meditating on it until it reaches my core and replaces my insecurities. Reaches my fears.........until it fills me up and overflows!


"I've got the Joy Joy Joy down in my heart.......to stay"

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Great Game but moving on...

So the Civil War game was fantastic...we knew one of the Oregon teams would be going to the Rose Bowl....we were neck to neck the entire game and then.....our top receiver was injured...broken leg! Poor guy...his senior year too! So long story short...we lost but not by much. 33-37.....I love Oregon so I am happy at least one of our teams will be going to the Rose Bowl. It was a fun night with family and a great game night for Oregon. That will be the last of my football talk for the year.....now on to Christmas!!!!

I LOVE Christmas! I am not a huge decoration fan....maybe I am just too lazy to set it all out just turn around and put it all away again. I love to look at them though. I had a fake tree for a few years...LOVED IT...then I remarried and he insisted on a real tree. We have had some great times going out to the tree farms and picking out a tree (we never go to the same farm) and cutting it down. The kids have loved it but to be honest....I miss the fake tree. No mess...you can put them out as soon as you want and leave up as long as you want. No fire hazard and once the initial cost is over...it's free. My husband came to me and said this would be the last year of the real tree...so now I will be on a mission to find a nice fake tree. The kids were bummed but they will see how fun it can be.
I love Christmas for the music, the movies, the lights, the love. The Christmas story is the most beautiful story. I have loved it since I was a kid and still do. It amazes me the faith Mary had to accept Gods will for her. How scary to think you will give birth to a child though you are a virgin and especially in those times when women would be stoned for looking at a man who was not their father or husband....twice. But she willingly accepted Gods plan for her. God chose her out of the entire universe to carry his son. Wow...and as the prophet said, a knife would Peirce her own heart as well....
So, Christmas is coming and the Christmas music is already playing in our home...just about every room actually. The kids have their radios tuned into the local Christian station who started playing Christmas music the day after Thanksgiving. It's great, we love it.
This month has started off hard...but I will not give up my faith in Him and His plan for our life. For a young virgin girl who was visited by an angel said "I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered "may it be to me as you have said." indeed, may it be as you have said Lord.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Civil War


So I'm not a huge sports fan. I do enjoy sports if one of my kids is participating or if I am watching the Americans win in the Olympics but other than that...nope. It's just annoying noise on the tv. BUT there is one time a year I enjoy football on TV and that is 'CIVIL WAR' time. That is when Oregon State University Beavers vs University of Oregon Ducks! We have a couple in the family who are Duck fans and a couple who are Beaver fans. Well, today is the day. Today is Civil War so i have plans to gather the 'huz,' the 'boy,' and myself and duke it out in the family room. The huz and I have a bet even....we win a 2 hour uninterrupted nap if our team wins. Big stakes!

So this evening will be the annoying noise of a TV football game on and the sound of my huz and son whining in defeat and me yelling with victory as the BEAVERS conquer the field!!!

!Go OSU!

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Looking for....

I thought about posting about family traditions, and I don't think there is much I can add to traditional Christmas except to say we have a nice dinner on Christmas Eve, a beautiful Christmas Eve service at our church where I sing 'O Holy Night' and then we come home to open presents. On Christmas morning the kids' stockings are awaiting them full of goodies and surprises...usually too heavy to hand on the mantel. BUT....this does bring me to my posting. For several years I have had stockings for myself and 4 of my kids that was home made and given as a gift to us. They are knitted and personalized with our names on them. Each stocking has a different picture on them. Through the years things have changed. I am remarried, I have a step son, each of my adult children have significant others, I have one grandchild and one on the way and 3 foster children. We so would love to have personalized knitted stockings for all the newbies! I can not find anyone who can knit them.
SOOOOOO...this post is more of a request...do you or someone trustworthy you know, know how to knit these and could make me some? Of course i am willing to pay for them if I have great references about them. I thought it was worth a shot......My adult kids love them and really want some for 'their' new families.
So, shoot me a reply if you can help out with this 'Family Tradition.' Here is an example of the stockings. In this pic they are full of goodies and laying on a couch...not the greatest quality pic but gives you an idea.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

What I am Thankful For and What I Would Be....

Wow....it truly is not an easy task to document what a person is thankful for....truly thankful for. We go from being thankful for our home to being thankful for water and sooo on but the truth is...I am thankful for my home and I am thankful water....oh so very, deeply thankful. So I will give a run down.....these are in now way in order of thankfulness.....

Jesus
The Bible
My parents
My grandparents, though they have all gone 'home'
My kids
My home
My dogs
My husband
Jobs
The State of Oregon
Clean yummy water
Clothing
Our wood stove
All the free wood my husband has gathered
My siblings
My nieces and nephews and the greats too
My grandson and the grandson on the way
Education
Books
Washer and dryer
Showers
Hot water
Missionaries
International orphanages
Humanitarian organizations
Thanksgiving Dinner
so see the list could go on and on....life is amazing!

There are a few things I WOULD be thankful for....

Self control with eating and exercise
Spouse who would get on track and stay there
Vacation to Hawaii

AND this one...especially in honor of Thanksgiving!


No TV on Thanksgiving.

I can not express enough how sad it is that this country has allowed a beautiful holiday to be tainted with something so trivial as football. How a lovely family day is torn by the obsession with football. That is NOT family time. Never has been and never will be. But it isn't going away....except in my house. Football is not allowed on Thanksgiving...many in my family are THANKFUL that Thanksgiving is NOT held at my house. hahaha
So...that's my rant on that!

So much to be thankful for...so much! which that in itself makes me so THANKFUL!


HAPPY THANKSGIVING
"The Lord is my Strength and my Shield; my heart trusts in Him and I am helped. My heart leaps for Joy and I will give thanks to Him in song." Psalm 28:7
"That my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever." Psalm 30:12

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Thankful

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Friday, November 20, 2009

My Mutts

Today on Kellys Korner she is highlighting pets. Ahhh that's near and dear to my heart. I want to share about a couple of my fourlegged friends. I have always loved animals and as a child I dreamed of the day I would get my very own dog. I was dog deprived growing up so I feel my love for dogs comes from my parents depriving me of mans best friend when I was younger (I had to blame someone! haha) As soon as I moved out of my parents house I got a puppy. I was young, inexperienced and broke. The puppy was free, adorable and dead within a year. That's what happens when you don't get them immunized. So I have had hard lessons to learn....many lessons over the years. have had many friends over the years and I have enjoyed them all. They gave me laughs and happiness and have taught me lessons, but I am going to post about my best friends. I will tell you about my two best friends Dolly and Sirion. Dolly was a mutt (a mix) Sirion however is a purebred dog...I just like to call him a mutt to keep him humble.
In 1992 I went to the Greenhill Humane Society in Eugene Oregon looking for a new buddy. I took my oldest daughter, who happened to be my youngest at that time, and we walked along the kennels looking at the beautiful faces of lost dogs....waiting for their new families to arrive. I heard a yipping coming from a kennel not too far down the row. There sat, as pretty as you please, a little black, year old dog. I checked her out and moved on....the yipping started again. We went back and there she sat all proper. Every time we walked away she would start jumping and yipping. Well....she stole my heart. It took us a week (due to paperwork and stuff) to actually adopt her and bring her home. We kept the name she came with because she was such a doll. She was a chihuahua mix...though she didn't look like a chi. She became my shadow. She was where I would be. We made a few moves over the years, living on a farm (she LOVED to chase the bunny's and look for mice) then back to the city, where she loved to ride in the car and to be held. She was spoiled her last few years of life by me and my parents. She loved going to visit at Grandma and Poppy's house. She was worse than the kids at getting excited to go there. She even had her own bed with big blankets there...they kept treats for her and she ruled their roost. I would let her out of the van, she would head down the sidewalk as fast as she could go...leash free...and right to their door. Also, she would wait for those moments when Poppy would go to put his socks on...she would burst with excitement and start biting at his feet because she knew that meant "bye bye" with Poppy.

In 2006 I made one of the hardest decisions of my life. I decided it would be best to put my best friend to sleep. She was nearly blind, her back was humped due to arthritis and we had potty issues. I went alone. I held her. I cried for her. It was done. She was 14 years old. I prayed and prayed that last year that I would wake up one moring and she wouldn't....but she held on and held on. Oh how I didn't want to make that decision...but I did...I had to. She was a doll. She had been through alot with me and I hated for it to end...but it did. I had her cremated and she sits on my shelf now with her collar and a picture of better days. Weird I know...something I would never have dreamed of doing...but one never knows what one will do! She was a joy, she was a heartbreak...she is a great memory. She was and is missed.

But now (I have to wipe my eyes) onto my current love. Sirion...my handsome buddy. In 2007 we had 3 kids, the worlds greatest cat, a belligerent, drooly Great Dane and a new home. For SOME reason I felt the need to add to our family. I started scanning the internet for a new dog. I spent a couple of months looking and praying (yes praying) and nothing struck my fancy. One day I was looking at the website of our local animal control and I saw this pathetic looking Weimeraner. Those type of dogs had never been my favorite...for one thing I never could pronounce the name! and this one had been starved. He was nothing but literal skin and bones. I felt so sorry for him but passed him by. I didn't seen anything that made me want a second look. The next day my husband and I were driving along when out of the blue he said want to go to the animal control and look at dogs. I almost skidded off the road. He was not in favor of another dog...but I did not miss my chance. So away we went. The second kennel we came to was the emaciated Weimer named Beau. Poor guy I thought. Then he looked me in the eyes and my heart leaped. But I moved on. We saw a couple of beautiful dogs and potential ones...but my husband and I were drawn back to the Weimer. We spent half an hour in there looking at him and talking....then another 15 minutes discussing the issues about him. He wasn't neutered, he was an adult, they had no history on him, would he be food aggressive. So many negatives...but I can't explain the draw I had to him. No I wasn't a sucker...there literally was a draw to him...something I couldn't ignore. Trust me I know when I am compulsive and when I have purpose.

We headed to the desk to inquire about him and was told someone had a hold on him. Ok...well that's good and started to turn away when a supervisor asked who had a hold on him. The clerk said someone in Seattle called and wanted a hold put on him. The supervisor said, forget it...we have someone here and now wanting him...let's get him a home. So he became ours. I won't lie...I did go home with buyers remorse...more like fear and it was a rough few months. Special diet, neutering, kennel cough, and the worse of it....separation anxiety. We had things destroyed. But I won't go into details about that. I will say he was never food aggressive, he put on weight, he overcame his anxiety with a kennel and constant love and attention. The best part? He has been the most amazing dog I have ever had. So loving, so gentle, so smart, so obedient, so handsome! I just love this dog. He comes to me when I call him "handsome." Once he was past his trauma of abandonment and starvation he settled. He went from being a dog who would not go potty outside unless I stood at the door to actually sleeping in a room different than the one I am in. He has been amazing with the baby. She loves him...he tolerates her... for food purposes! He is just the most amazing buddy. I know he was an answer to prayer. I know he is a gift to me. I know he will be another heartbreak...but for now...he is a great companion and I adore him. Sirion, meaning 'Little Prince' and that he is......

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Checking it out...

I am checking out a new blog called Lolidots and on this blog they have giveaways. Who wouldn't want to win something...I never do but I try. Most of all though, I love checking out blogs. Getting insight into other believers thoughts and how they live their lives. Most of the time it's encouraging. So, occasionally I will post about a new blog I am checking out and this happens to be one of them. They are having a giveaway of Kerusso products. I so love business' that help to spread the word of God and this company does just that. They also donate a certain % of their sales to Compassion International. One of the things that has me the most excited about Kerusso right now is the fact they have 'FREE Shipping' if you spend 30$ or more....I love free shipping. So, once you are done checking out Lolidots Blog, head over to Kerusso and Compassion International and see what gifts you can give this Christmas.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Birthday Girl turns 9 today


So our precious MK turns 9 today. I can't believe a year has already passed since her last birthday. I pray daily her and her brother can return or remain where God knows is best. I am so thankful to have had them in my life and will not be sad in the least if I get to share the rest of my life with them. How precious they are! So here we are...another birthday! Thank you Jesus!

Tester

Woohoo...I am so happy to have learned that someone I know and trust will be able to be my daughters 'Tester' for the state test. Since I homeschool we are required to test our kids every so often. I was a little worried about this. I don't know the people who are on the list of 'Testers' and that's a little unnerving. Well, now I know someone and I am so happy. We won't be testing until early next year but just knowing that is taken care of has lifted my shoulders.

Our 'tester' lives in Oregon City so if you are need of a 'tester' please let me know and I will joyfully give you her name and number!

Praise God!

His Good Purpose


Life has been a whirlwind...again. Time passes so quickly and is so full. How thankful I am for my life though. Busy everday trying to create lessons for my girls and their homeschooling. Busy with the public school kids and their activities, homework, and half day kindergarten. Busy creating lessons for the 'Kids Klub' at our church. Busy trying to clean up this house on a daily basis. Working at cleaning out and up. Busy making plans for my home and plans for my life. It's just busy....but who's isn't these days!?! Those who serve God and those who don't.
The memory verse for the 'Kids Klub' kids at my church (Woodland Park Baptist, Portland Oregon) this week is...."For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose." So, the question is...is He working through me? YES! to act according to His good purpose? YES! I believe it in my heart. All things are set into motion within my life that God has allowed. Am I continually faithful to fullfill all those actions? Yes and no. I am not always faithful in my attitude or my stewardship of time management, but I do always get back on track to work on or complete those things that He has me working on. I may not always respond well, I still have learning to do, and I still have a stubborn spirit to get in check...but I am willing to allow God to continue to work on me and through me. Praise be to His name. Prior to Christ, I was who I chose to be and I did what I chose to do and felt empty and void. Now I am who God has designed me to be and I am doing what God has prepared for me to do "for we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10" and I am exhausted and... yet fulfilled. Is it hard....OF COURSE! Was being in chains or stoned for declaring Jesus easy? Our Father does not promise the road we walk with him will be filled with Daisy's and cotton candy clouds but He does promise He will see us through.... "and God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work" 2 Corinthians 9:8..... He will give us everything we need, His Grace is sufficient, His power is made perfect in our weakness. I am weak and I am wrapped up in a strong, stubborn flesh...but I am filled with a pure and perfect Holy Spirit.

I do have some regrets. I do desire to be healthier and be capable of so much more, but I am what I am now due to poor choices when I was younger. Even poor choices made after I became a believer. It takes a looooong time to learn Gods wisdom and to fully become the person God has called you to be. When you are a new Christian it seems everything will be perfect and great in your life but that is far from the truth. We will still live in this world, we still suffer consequences of other peoples sins and we still suffer consequences of our choices. But hey....We serve a living God. A God that is gracious and just. A God is that is all knowing. A God who will continue to love us and help us. How beautiful He is!

So, I am busy...swamped...exhausted....but oh so thrilled to have the life I do. To have this difficult husband who is allowing me to learn patience and trust. These kiddos who are allowing me to learn unconditional love and prayer without ceasing. My parents who gave me life and gave me love. So thankful to be serving a risen Savior. I am so blessed.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Fun never ends....

The saga with the adult daughter has finally leveled for the moment. This is the one who is unwed and pregnant. We had an issue with the midwife she was seeing, neither one of us cared for her. She never acted like she had met my daughter before. She never would answer our questions. She never addressed the concerns my daughter had in regards to her back. So KR asked to be transferred to an OB. They said we had to meet with the midwife again to state your concerns...we didn't feel we needed to have another visit with said midwife but the "policy" was to meet with the provider and discuss the issues. Due to work schedules, we did not feel we should have have to waste our time and money on another appointment. Soooo, they made a decision to close her file and asked her to leave the clinic...per "policy." WOW...I had never heard of that before. So, it has been over a month since she had any prenatal check ups. Drama with finding a doctor who accepts her insurance. Drama in getting the 'old' clinic to fax her chart. BUT finally...we did it. I took a leap and suggested she go and see my doctor....my Gynecologist. I have not seen him in almost two years (yes, a confession) and yet he walked in from lunch while we were in the waiting area and he recognized and greeted me. The nurse recognized me also....before we left KR had received two hugs from strangers. One from the nurse and one from the Doctor. Made her feel much better. Hmmmm...it wasn't like that before. You went to the midwives for the tender and personal care. But I am sure it's like everything in this day and time, corrupt. Some have melded with the medical world due to liability and convenience. Enough said about that. I am sure there are still some great ones out there.
The peace I felt waiting for the doctor while sitting in the exam room was wonderful and unexpected. I didn't really give it that much thought, but it came and flooded my soul. Gods plan...I truly feel God closed 'that' door and opened this one. This doctor is a Christian and he makes it known. This doctor loves his family and talks about them at every appointment. So why didn't I have her go to him in the first place? Distance, time, and knowing my daughter wanted a female doc....BUT God prevailed and placed us where HE wants my girl and my grandson.
The update: The father of the baby is now in Great Lakes Ill. in basic training. He went there the first part of October. So my daughter is alone. She only has one good friend who is either at work or hanging with her boyfriend. She has no cable tv and she has no computer for internet service. My heart aches for my girl. I know she chose her path, I know she will survive but I hate that she is alone. I hate that she is going through the most beautiful adventure of her life...without the father of the baby participating. Not even sure he can make it for the birth....I know her heart wants him here. So I will continue to pray that God will keep speaking to her heart. God will continue to open and close doors for her. God will bring her around to surrender her life to Him...and if it takes loneliness....if it takes her Mom staying out of the way....then I will. Because I want God to be the center of her life so she can make it in the days to come.
I know God blessed with me with this girl baby...because that was my prayer so many years ago. Thinking she would be my last and so desired a girl baby. He chose to bless me in that way. I have continued to be blessed by her. And though this chapter in her life is giving more grey hairs then I would choose to have....I do not regret those endless prayers requesting that she be given to me. She is beautiful, kind, loving, and perfect! I am so thankful for her.

So, once again I will say....parenting the adult kids is much more stressful than parenting the little ones....but oh how thankful I am to share in their lives.

We will be having a LA Dodgers baby shower....we have ordered the invites....now to work out the details.....the work...I mean fun....never ends! Praise God!

My beautiful girl...8mths pregnant with my Grandson

Monday, October 26, 2009

Friday, October 23, 2009

Feel the need...


Just feel the need to talk. Nothing much on my mind...or maybe there is TOO much on my mind. Good opportunity to just ramble and to also share some of my pictures.

Had a review hearing for two of our kiddos. It was a referee and not a judge and I must say I was very impressed with her. She seemed genuinely concerned for the children. I must of stood up about 5 times to answer questions and share about the kids. Usually with our other little one, I get about 30 seconds air time. Tell them how wonderful they are doing and then that's it. No questions. So it was refreshing to see the concern. Neither parent attended the hearing....not sure why they didn't, but everyone in attendance was surprised they were not there. Nothing new came of the hearing which can be a good thing. We will just continue doing what we are doing. Pray Gods will be done, take each day as it comes, and loving on the kids always.
On another topic:
I hate Halloween. I never have liked it really. I have always enjoyed dressing up but I can do that any time of year. So, every year I can not wait for October to be over. The entire month I have to endure all the demonic decorations, tv shows, and movies. I also have to endure the endless questions from my kids as to why we don't celebrate it. I always feel so relieved when November 1st is here. BUT I do enjoy fall and everything it brings. It brings an array of color. It brings beautiful pumpkins and gourds. I love bales of straw and now you can sometimes find small bales....how cute is that. So this weekend we are planning a trip to a local farm and scour their pumpkin patch. I enjoy simply going and looking for pumpkins, drinking hot apple cider and looking at Indian corn and such...but now most pumpkin patches are like a county fair. Pay as you ride. Pay to ride a wagon. Pay to slide a slide....and oh my goodness one year there were helicopter rides. So, it isn't quite the same and we haven't gone for a few years. We usually go to a small patch down the road. It's just pumpkins, veggies, and flowers. Way lower key but we usually have fun. BUT this year we will venture into the wilds or marketing strategies and three ring circuses. Why? Because the kids will have fun and as much as I hate the overabundance of it I do know they are local farmers and I like supporting the farmers. I am so thankful the weather forecast is for cloudy skies because it hasn't stopped raining once.

Don't pumpkin patches allow for the best pictures ever though? I always get the best pictures of my kids at a pumpkin patch. Is it the colors? Is it the fact the kids are having a great time and have sheer joy seeping out their eyes? Doesn't matter the reason just that it is true! So, this weekend we will go and find the perfect pumpkins, make a huge mess at home with them and then the best ending of it all....roasted pumpkin seeds. Oh yeh...that's the other reason I go!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The Brave and the Strong....

Here we are in October. The big occasion in our family for October is My parents anniversary. This is last years ANNIVERSARY blog...giving history and such. Well this year, my parents celebrated their 57th. How fantastic is that?!? The day of their anniversary was Sunday and a special Sunday at that. It was recital day for my two girls and for my MOM! My Mom is so brave. She is 71 years old and taking piano lessons for the first time in her life. Our piano teacher is also the organ player at church...so she arranged for my mom to play her recital piece during offering. My Mom was over the top nervous. She did lose her spot one time but otherwise she did just fine. As she finished and was coming down the steps towards the pews my husband, my kids, and my dad met her there with a beautiful arrangement of lavender roses and red roses. Surprising her greatly. It was sweet! That afternoon my parents took each other out to lunch. That evening was recital time and I was so proud of my Mom and my girls. They did fantastic. My Mom is a strong woman. Enduring so much in her life and she never gave up. Never gave up on her marriage, never gave up on her kids, and never gave up on her dreams. We have sang together several times at church and oh how this blesses my heart. My MOM blesses my heart. She does so much to help me (and my siblings). I truly do not know how I would manage without her. She not only loves and adores us but she has also embraced the foster kids fully. She loves and adores them too. She commented before how she never knew how you could love kids so much that did not come from your own bloodline...now she knows. She can and does love them just as much. They ARE her grand kids...she is THEIR grandma....100%

It was a blessed day. I thank God for the parents who gave me life. I thank God for the Mom who laid the foundation of faith so I would come to know Jesus as my savior and have life eternal.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Made a dent...

No I didn't back into my husbands truck again...oh wait, I don't think i have confessed that one on here before. I have, however, made a dent in the 'stuff' that has accumulated in my home. I have family coming over in a little while to help haul it off. It will be nice to get it out of here. I still have a BUNCH of stuff to go through...but it's a start and I won't let the serpent (you know how much I HATE snakes) take away the joy I have for getting a good start. I'm not looking ahead...I am focused on today...and today I have a BUNCH of 'stuff' going out the door!The load on my shoulders has lifted a bit.
I spoke with a dear sister in the Lord yesterday and mentioned how I am 'spring cleaning,' trying to get my house in order and she shared something with me. She said collecting stuff (hoarding, stock piling, and etc) is a generational curse...one which she suffers from and she decided the other day, after working on her Dad's house (he passed away a few weeks ago) she wants the curse to broken now...with her. At first I just listened but think much about it but then to my mind came images of my Mom renting a storage unit just to store Christmas stuff and such. Then my went to my Grandmas house. Her house was not filthy like the hoarders you see on T.V. but boy let me tell ya....she had the stuff. What-nots, knick-knacks every where. Even 'pretty's on the floor. I think most everything was a gift...she doesn't from my memory seem like a shopper but boy there were things everywhere. So...I think my friend is right. It is generational. What makes it a curse is because we are always desiring things we don't NEED. We buy, keep, gather, store things that are not needed...they are only wanted. Things that take up space, gather dust, and use up living space....at least in my case. I am horribly sentimental. I use to keep everything....I am much better now, but boy let me tell ya...it is quite emotional to go through things that have sentimental value. A couple of years ago I went through some clothing...this clothing was gross. It was mildewed and rotten basically (from poor storage) I almost kept it...it was some of my son's baby clothes and my maternity shirt. They were not usable and I know me...I would not have done anything crafty with them and I have a few other things stored and in good shape. So I parted with the nasty stuff. So, mildewed, rotten, useless worthless... BUT oh so hard to part with. That's a curse! It was exhausting. Even this week I am having trouble getting rid of some of the toys my younger girls had when they were smaller. No one plays with them...they take up space and get filthy dirty! They HAVE to go....and I am praying they go fast because I can feel my heart strings being pulled every time I pass by them!

Yep...I would say it's a curse....but one I know I can overcome! WITH my Fathers help. He will get me through this. Now when I go through 'things' I ask him to give me eyes to see the truth, a heart to be strong, and wisdom to know what to do. I am not storing for the future (not talking about food...just stuff) kids or grandkids. If we have more kiddos come along God will provide. If my grandkids need something...God WILL provide.
So...a long road lays ahead....but today I accomplished one block and God willing...I will finish this marathon a free woman. Free from a bondage of 'Stuff.'

Isaiah 40:31
"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

As for the eating healthy part...not so much. Not as bad as normal...but not great either! This bondage must be broken also. Pray hard dear ones! Pray hard!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Starting off....

So, today is Monday and I have decided to start fresh. These are my goals for the rest of the year and into next. I am going to give some effort to getting some of this weight off. Honestly (and I am being transparent about this) and I am not in the mood to focus on eating healthy and losing some weight. It is a great stress to do this. I know I know...it's suppose to help a person feel better and I am sure it would in the long run but in the LONG RUN...I have been on this road more than I can count. I have been a failure at this more than I can count sooooo...it is stressful. It causes great stress in my life to focus on planning, buying, cooking, and eating healthy meals. I won't even go into the exercise realm of it righ now. Ugh! BUT I have to do something. So i am sharing it here. I hope maybe whoever reads this would pray for me and my family as I give this a attempt. I did get on the scale for the first time in months. Good news is I am still the same weight I have been for the last 2 years....how much you might ask let's say....A LOT!!!
The other goal is to get this home organized. I feel more hopeful about that than I do the weight 'thing' but still it's a mountain in front of me (or all around me!). We have so much stuff and we have so many bodies in this house and due to physical problems and having a very needy 1 year old the house has fall into a pit of despair (ok....a little over the top dramatic?) This is my job, this is my ministry, this is my home and I need it to represent God. I need it to be an outward reflection of a God Loved and redeemed woman. So....I MUST get it cleaned up, organized, and free flowing.
I need to organize my time. It's time for me to get somewhat scheduled. I need to gain some control of my time. I need to quit focusing on 'time wasters.' So, I have to tell family and friends I must turn off my cell for periods of time. I must turn off the pc for periods of time. Both of these are time wasters! With God leading me I know I can get handle on this.
So, that's my heart today. I want to use this blog to share and to record progress, failures, frustration. Feel free at any moment to pray for me. I know I can not succeed under my own power. I know I have a loving father who will provide for all my needs and he will give me the wisdom I need.
So....here we go!

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Sunny Fall day


Here it is a beautiful fall day in Oregon. The sun is shining and the air is cool and leaves are changing color. I think this is the first time since I graduated from school that I am not ready for summer to end. I do not enjoy the heat but I do love the sunshine and I love making plans for activities which include being outside. I'm not ready but it's going to happen no matter what.


Two of the foster kids had a great day the other day. They were able to have two visits. One with their dad and one with their mom. The visits went great and they so enjoyed it. I am so happy for them. As much as we love them and would love for them to stay with us....I am so thankful they have parents who love them and show them that love. The system is draining to work with but having the opportunity to share a life with these kiddos is a most excellent blessing. I am so thankful. They have brought so much to our lives. I do continue to pray for healing of their parents....if not for the sake of the parents at least for the sake of the little ones.


My life the last few months has felt overwhelming (and I don't use that word very often). It has felt disorganized, cluttered, rocky, and heavy. So, I am putting my chin up, taking a deep breath and laying it all out...all out to God! I NEED him to lift this burden. I NEED him to show me and lead me. I NEED him to show me how to gain control of my life. How to organize it. How to declutter it. How to make it glorifying of HIM. I know he will be faithful....now I just have to stick to it. I need not bow down to the strain and give in. I have to continue in diligent prayer. Not letting up. I am allowing too many factors to come in and throw me off track. Allowing factors to distract me from God. So it's time....time to love Him and return ALL of my life to HIM.


I pray you are walking this life with Him in the lead. I pray you have given Him your all. That each day you wake and He is the first thought and he is leading your thoughts and actions through out the day. I pray He is the last thought at night. If not.....join with me in turning our lives back over to him. Not just our church life, but all aspects of our life. Financial, decision making, recreational....all of it.


Glory to God.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Random pics

Top to bottom: My Son with his Son, my grandson-future soccer star?, BG following her shadow, Two sleeping baby's, My step grandson Ky, the kids at Oaks Park, the family at the zoo in front of an exhibit being remodeled.

Why is it....

Why is it there are times when journaling, e-mailing, Facebooking, Blogging seem to go to the wayside. I know there are times of busy-ness....but sometimes it seems more that there doesn't seem to be anything to share. Events happen daily...there is always something I 'could' write about but can't seem to organize my thoughts enough to write. Sometimes 'things' just don't seem worthy...worthy to bother others with. Though I love reading others Blogs. I love reading about their 'regular' days or their not so good days. But lately....say for the last two months I get on my Blog, read my favorites, consider writing....and then....don't!

So...here I sit...with so much I could write about, just can't seem to organize my thoughts to write about anything. So, I choose to give the 'lowdown' on the family.
Oldest to youngest.....

The huzb...he is back to working full time since his knee surgery. We had a little 'bump' with finances while that was all going on but I believe we are over it now. I am thankful he is healing and I pray he continues to heal and heals well. He is co-leading a men's study group at our 'Family Night Live' gathering at our church on Tuesdays. I am happy about that. He has great potential to be a good teacher. He needs experience to help him learn to stay focused, learn to organize and study.This is good in MANY aspects for him.

The Adult Son, his wife, and my GRANDSON...they are doing great. They are happy, healthy, and they are participating in their first real ministry. My son is helping me to lead a children's group at our church called Kidz Klub. It has been great fun working with him.

The Adult Daughter...she is now in her 7th month of pregnancy and struggling greatly. Due to her back surgery when she was 13 (a 14 hour surgery) the weight of the pregnancy has caused her great pain with her job. She still does not have a license and must walk to the bus or Max and that causes back pain. Her BF was able to drive her often but as of today he is in the Navy. He left today for boot camp. Soooo, my heart is heavy for my girl. Oh how I want to drive over to her apartment, gather her things and move her back into my home where I can feed her, care for her and hug her when I want. BUT...I can not. I am feeling in my heart there maybe times when she will be here and I will pretend it doesn't thrill me to pieces....but I will for sure worry all the more for her now. She is due December 27th....some come December or possibly January I will have a new grandson to love and adore! Pray for my girl.

My boy A, he is loving High School even though he is a Freshman. He is in football right and loving it. He is doing great at keeping up his homework and his attitude has been wonderful.

My girl SR, she doing wonderful in piano she quite a gift, especially for reading music...now if I can only get her to like and enjoy it! She Loves being at her grandmas more than being home but that is nothing new. Though she struggles with reading and writing, she excels in Science. She also loves to sing so I need to incorporate more music into Homeschooling. She started Volleyball this week.

My girl AR, she is my love bug. She loves to love on me and I take ALL she can give. She too is great at piano. Unlike Staci though...Amy prefers to learn it by memory and play it her way. She enjoys it a little more than her elder sister but not much. I know one day they will appreciate it! She does very well in reading and writing but struggles some with Science. Neither girl does well in Math (why God why?!?!?! my least favorite subject). She is a great singer and loves to sing. Quite an ear for music since she was very little. Just wish she had the courage like her older sib. I can however get them to sing together and we have started working on harmony! She too started Volleyball this week...I had the girls placed on the same team. Makes my life easier.

My girl MK, She wasn't ready for school to start but she has been loving it and enjoying it. She has a great teacher (one my girl SR had before) and she really likes him. She has really settled well into our family. She has become increasingly affectionate. A few months ago she began to cuddle with me occasionally and giving me hugs without me initiating them. Then just the other night she kissed me goodnight...on my lips. I was quite surprised. She loves her parents but seems to be happy and comfortable here. I am glad she gets to see her parents often, that helps her a lot. I am thankful for her.

My boy LB, what a doll. He started Kindergarten this year and oh how thrilled he was. He even gets to ride the bus!!! He loves it. I hate the fact it's half day so I spend my morning watching the clock, get him fed, on the bus and before I know....they are home. But he is happy and he is learning. Now that he is in school I have seen some change in his personality....it always happens. The influence of other kids. He has gotten a little more defiant and a little more ornery. So that has been fun! not! He is still very affectionate and cuddly and oh how he loves the baby in our family! He fits so well into our family, it's great. He too loves his mom and dad very much but seems to be happy and comfortable here. I am thankful for him.

My baby girl, she is a living doll. Ornery as all get out...stubborn, willful, beautiful and so very loved but ALL the family. She has so many people in our family wrapped around her fingers she has no fingers left. She is so full of life. She will not be going back to her bio mom, so now we are praying she will get to stay with us. Oh how we pray that!!! We will for sure keep in contact with mom and any bio family who desires to have a relationship with her. She recognizes her mom as someone she knows, but she for sure sees me, her papa L, and her kids as her family! I am thankful for her.

As for me...I am praying for God's deliverance in areas of my life I need healing and restructure. I am praying constantly for God to fill our home with joy, peace, and laughter. Big changes have happened and big changes are on the horizon so I want my Heavenly Father to always be in the lead. For Him I can trust, For I know he loves me/us and wants what is best for me/us!
He has blessed us so amazingly!
So, that's that for now! Pray for our family....I pray for you, though I don't know who is reading this.......i still pray for you!

God's blessings

Friday, September 25, 2009

Sigh.....

My very favorite Christian Rock band is in town tonight....AND I can't go. It's CASTING CROWNS! I did not have enough money. I could have bought a ticket for me in the cheap seats but I couldn't bring myself to do that. I have 6 kids, 3 of which are huge Casting Crown fans and 1 who is new to them but would love to go to a concert. BUT...I could not afford a ticket for all of them so I chose not to go myself. HUGE bummer! I so love their music and greatly appreciate their ministry. Oh well....I know...there are worse things in life...BUT it is a huge bummer. Here is a previous post about them...

Casting Crowns

Just had to vent a little........

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Much about nothing


Haven't really had anything of value to post about lately. Have been feeling pretty whelmed with life as of late. Some of what goes on in my world can't be posted about because of confidentiality...sadly. But I will someday. I can say this....we will be pursuing adopting our foster children. If all goes well all should be said in done in February and possibly March. Lots of hills to climb at this time though.

I need some huge changes in my life or death may come early. I think my body would just give out. Some of the changes are these....my faith. I have to learn to let go more. Let go and let God so the saying goes. But so true. When my marriage sucks and decisions are being made I do not agree with I MUST learn to place my trust in God....because HE will not let me down. Other changes are my eating habits. Enough is enough. I am not fat and happy. I am miserable and I am not sure how to get to where I need to be mentally. I am asking God for wisdom on that one. I must get more organized. Life is whirling out of control so it's time to change the plan of action and attack from a different angle. There are others I am sure.....

God is the Creator and he is the savior...I know he will help me through, so I have to be faithful and let Him work it out in me and through me!
I am not perfect or anywhere near perfect...but I do know the one I serve is!
"That He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
Philippians 1:6

Thursday, September 10, 2009

In Memory of 9-11


Wow...it seems so long ago, and yet ....not, that the day which shook all of America and many in other parts of the world occurred. The day innocent lives were lost because of evil. This is my memory of that day.....

The year was 2001. I was a single working mother of 4. As was my routine every morning when I worked full time at the American Red Cross, I turned on my bedroom tv to catch the local news for traffic updates. The morning of September 11th the difference in the sound and sights that came from my little tv in my bedroom was immediately different. With a towel on my head (from my morning shower) and makeup bag in hand I sat entranced on the side of my bed. Trying to get my mind to understand what was being said and shown. It was Matt Lauer speaking and there the one of the WTC Towers was on fire. Then suddenly there was a quick glimpse of something across the screen and then a huge explosion on the other tower. The second plane had hit. I felt frozen in time. None of it seemed real....realizing this was happening in America my country.....
I finished getting ready and was of course running a few minutes late. Got the two little ones dropped off at daycare and the other two to school. Driving into work I would usually pray and sing but I tuned in the radio. I heard them speaking of the Pentagon, another plane in the air, airports being shut down and then.....did I really hear them say one of the towers collapsed? That could not be possible. I didn't believe it even. My mind was reeling.
I walked into work and it seemed a little quieter than normal but it didn't take long for the entire place to erupt into chaos. TV's were on in the donor waiting area and the Pheresis department. Talk started about how donors would be coming in and we needed to prepare. My boss made it clear to me and the others in my department if we were not 'donor' trained then we were to carry on business as usual. Business as usual? This was a national tragedy...nothing usual about it. As I delivered documents I saw coworkers running and scrambling around trying to get the donor room set up in the atrium (a much larger area) not all collections staff had arrived to work yet. As I rounded the corner....what I saw i couldn't believe. A line of people going out the door of our facility....my poor coworkers were overwhelmed. It was pretty chaotic. I put the documents back on my desk and decided "I will do what I NEED to do and if I get fired then God has other plans for me..." So I went to the Atrium and started helping to set up the Canteen area. Moving, lifting, organizing...it was truly remarkable. The donors were lined up out the door and around the corner of the street. Some where nurses coming forward to ask if they could help draw donors (which they could not due to regulations) and the phones were ringing off the hook. The American public wanted to help. They wanted to do something in the darkness of that catastrophic day....and we as Red Cross Employees did too! We wanted to help our wounded country. We wanted to save lives. We worked for hours processing donors, passing out cookies and water and magazines and just lending a listening ear to those who wanted to talk about what they saw that morning. I could only work my 8 hours but MANY of the collections staff, facilities staff, and supervisors worked well into the evening. The lines lessened each day but still there was an outpouring of loving hearts wanting to give. SADLY...in the days and weeks after, Red Cross received a huge bad wrap. We were accused of throwing away blood, taking blood when we didn't need it...and so and so on the stories went. It broke our hearts. We were only responding to a tragedy. We were responding much like the nation.
We could only store so much blood and only for so long in order for it to be safe and usable...... and we were overwhelmed. Our facilities were overwhelmed, our testing labs were overwhelmed, our staff did a great job. Sadly as we came to learn, there were not many survivors needing blood transfusions....but who could have known, who of us could have imagined. It was a frightening day, it was a day of such sorrow, it was a day of such love, it was a day of being proud to be an American....and even today 8 years later.......it still possesses the same feelings......the same feelings to me! I was very proud to have worked for the Red Cross and I was and am to proud to be an American.
That is my memory of that day....I no longer work for Red Cross, instead I work at home raising my kids and raising those kids who were born to others but have now been born of my heart. This day I will pray for those left behind, who's family members and friends were taken. I will pray for our soldiers who need to come home NOW. I will pray for our country, that we will turn back to God. Cheesy but very true....God Bless America!

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Northwest Adoption Exchange

As some of you know I like to make a posting highlighting a few of the kids in the Northwest who are in need of a loving, safe, and happy home. Checkout the website to see a few of the other kids listed Northwest Adoption Exchange. Pray and see if your home would be the home for one or more of these kids!

Here are just a few in Oregon:


Here are a few in Washington:





and Idaho: