Monday, October 17, 2011

The heart of this foster mom

The state called today...another baby needing placed. It is such a bag of mixed emotions for me. I don't know if everyone goes through this or it's just me or it's just because I am still relatively new at this compared to others. Since my first placements all stayed. BUT...how I feel is nervous as all get out. I also feel a little excited and I also feel very sad. Nervous because I have no idea what is coming. Will the baby be cranky?Will the baby be overwhelmed with what just happened. Will the baby be needy? Alot of questions. I feel a little excited because I just love babies and I especially love baby girls. Getting to get them all dressed up and pretty. Then there is the feeling of sadness...know that a broken person just created a broken family. Especially in this case...knowing that as I am typing, the state is on their way to remove the baby from custody. So very very sad. So, I can't be all just one emotion. I can't be all nervous. I can't be all excited. I can't be all nervous. BUT I can't be this one thing...faithful. I can rest all that I am into the great 'I Am.' He knows all about this little one. He knew she would be coming our way. He knows what she needs, what her mama needs, and all her family. He is the only one who can do anything about it. I will be the tool to care for and love on this little one until....until....until whatever happens happens. I do appreciate the opportunity to pray for all of them...all the family involved. I pray with all my heart the little one is not scared when she gets here. That will be heart wrenching. I pray...I mean PRAY and ask God to bless her with peace as soon as she comes through our door. That her heart and mind will feel at ease. He will do this...I believe He will.  To be continued......

Thursday, October 13, 2011

I didn't look back

The state came and took 'the baby' today to take her to her new, possibly temporary home. I am honest and will say I was a little sad when they called yesterday to tell me. I felt like she would stay...but I guess it was just wishful thinking. It is out of my hands and I don't know her future or what she truly needs. Only one does and that is the Almighty Living God. This is the door he opened for her so, I prayed her through it. All week I have prayed for her and her situation. I have prayed alone in silence, prayed alone out loud and even prayed at 'Worship' practice with some of my brothers and sisters. That tiny baby girl is covered!!! If anything evil tries to come against her, it will not break through the barrier of Gods mighty angels. His hand is over her. So thankful I have Him to put my trust in.

So, she is gone...the crib is empty. Forgot one of her bottles sitting on my kitchen counter drying...that tugged my heart a little. I know this ministry isn't about me...because 'me' wouldn't have let her go. This ministry is about God's business and I am a tool...and....that's a great thing! "Oil me up Lord and use me!"

So put the baby into the car, kissed her, talked to her, shut the door and walked away. I didn't look back...just have to keep looking ahead because God's got more in store.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Not about me!

We have a foster baby with us right now. She is almost 3 weeks old. Oh my goodness she is tiny and so precious. It is so bitter sweet. I know this is Gods ministry, I know we are in this to help keep children loved, blessed, and safe until they can return to their healthy parents...but oh how this will be a challenge for me. Letting her go. Better sooner than later...but already my kids are madly in love with her and each day I can feel my heart absorbing her more and more. A woman I really appreciate and she is founder of 'Project Hopeful' always says..."it's not about me" or "remember...it's not about you!" I totally agree...it isn't about me. It's about my God and it's about this baby who needed a safe haven until God allows her to go where ever she needs to go...but my heart ....is me. That part is me and that part of me can feel the sadness creeping in. It's the lack of faith, because I worry about where will she go...to whom is she going. She is not being returned to bio mom...but they are digging deep to find a family member for her to go to. That's the part that is tough for me. If it was mom...not as painful...digging in the woodwork to fine someone,.....anyone related that she can go to...that doesn't set well with my spirit...but it is what it is. I am doing what God has called me to do. I will love on her, pray over her, and feed her and keep her safe, warm and clean. God will help me through the hump....feels more like a mountain though!

Post Coooonnnnncerrrrrt!

Oh goodness...what a great time we had. My girl was so excited....and so was I! We met some friends at the church where the concert was being held. We met them at 5, ate some dinner and had great fellowship. At 6 we were able to enter the building. We stood in line to get our girls t-shirts. My friends 3 girls each got 'The Afters' t-shirts and my girl got a 'Casting Crowns' t-shirt. The concert started right at 7.

We were in our seats and ready at 7. The first performer was Lindsay McCaul. She was amazing. We both LOVED her voice. We bought her CD. The next group was 'The Afters,' my girl fell in love with them! The next group was 'Sanctus Real.' THENNNN...Casting Crowns came out and sang the new song (and movie) Courageous! They were fantastic. During intermission Mark Hall invites youth leaders to attend a meeting...I knew this was coming so I grabbed my girls hand and led the way. All the while she is saying...where are we going, whats going on. I said trust me. We got to the room, listened to an assistant talk about 'Global Youth MInistry' and then Mark Hall comes walking out. We were just steps away from him...my girl was so star struck! I loved it. He had great things to say about leading and ministering to our youth...and do you think I can remember any of it? NOPE!!! I hate that. He said something so great...I loved it...wanted to write it down...didn't...now can't remember what it was. ugh!
All evening I kept looking for Marks wife...have always wanted to meet her. She seems to be a pretty amazing woman. She is mom to 4, the youngest is adopted and has some health issues. She home schools her kids and she is CC's road manager. Wow! Would loved to talk to her. Never saw her........it wasn't until until about 2 days later I saw a past Tweet she had posted and it was a picture of Mark Hall talking to US! She was standing back behind us and I didn't even know she was there! DANG! Wouldn't have had the nerve to walk up to her and talk to her...but would have been cool just to see her.


Pre Concert

My girl with 'The Afters'

Casting Crowns unplugged

All the performers up singing 'Until the Whole World Hears' Yeh...I rocked this song!

Picture Taken by Mark Halls wife Melanie, you can see the back of my girl and I . We are in front and she has her hand on my back.

We are ready to rock!

Waiting in our seats

Mark Hall, pic not taken by me

Our friends




Listening to Mark Hall speak about Youth ministry

With Lindsay McCaul, and Josh from 'The Afters jumping into the shot' LoL

My beautiful girl with my Favorite Christian Rock band!
LOVE this pic
So we went back to our seats, part 2 started....CC is amazing. AMAZING. I love their hearts for our creator. I love their hearts for missions. I love their hearts for service. I love their hearts (and great talents) for music. Oh and Mark Hall is funny too...that's an added bonus! They reconfirmed why I love this group so much. I now have a great liking for 'The Afters' and I really like Lyndsay McCaul. She was phenomenal!
GREAT GREAT evening....provided by GOD! 
We were ready to leave and saw we could get autographs from The Afters and Lyndsay..so we did that. Then we heard CC would be coming up to give autographs! We were thrilled...I Was amazed at how God was blessing us. I have met them before but oh how I wanted my girl to get a chance to meet them...and she did. We left that building at 11:15....it was worth every drop of sweat and achy feet. God is so good! What an amazing blessing! I pray groups like we saw that night never ever lose sight of what a gift they have been given to be able to live their hearts desire and share with others the glory and beauty of praise and worship music. That was not the road chose for me...but I sure can dream...and Mark Hall has no idea what amazing harmony I did with him that night!!!  :-)
p.s. just realized I posted a video as a picture...sorry!

Friday, September 30, 2011

Cooooonnncerrrrrt!!!!

I am thrilled to be taking my 8th grader, AR to see Casting Crowns tonight in concert. I just love that group. Love their music and their ministry. Good people! I won tickets a few weeks ago (which is amazing...I never win things) and I could only choose 1 other person to go with me. Well my AR girl likes Crowns music too so she gets to go as well...but I have been trying to win more tickets...not success yet. I still have one more try though Mark Hall himself. He gives away Meet and Greet Tickets the day of the concerts. If I was to win those, I would take my other 2 girls. I would love for them to experience great worship music.
Hope to get some fun pictures and post them on here. What a refreshing thing to look forward to and it's great to see my girl so excited for something. Now I gotta figure out what to wear!!!!  lol

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Just don't know...

I just don't know why I can't seem to blog anymore. I think about it often and many times I sit down and have plans to and then I get to reading other blogs and before I know it...I'm out of time and am needed as a mommy or wife. I like to think it's because I have "so many kids," but I know there are some blogs I read and they have the double the kids I do and manage to stay current. Oh well...that's just the way it is....

Our summer FLEW by..................way too fast!!!! I was not ready to see it end. I am not ready for the short days, early sunsets. I like the sunshine. I am not a fan of the heat, but I do like the sunshine. However...the clouds are back and so is the rain. It was pouring rain out today when church let out. We were drenched before we reached our van. None of us had jackets because it was still pretty warm out....we will need to get in the habit again.

Some changes for us...all the adoption paperwork has been submitted, now it's just wait for the State to do their part and then the attorney will contact me with a court date. Bio mom has been attending church regularly and also attends a women's bible study. She has been dealing with emotions and has been honest and shared them with me. I am glad she is learning to lean on God. I am thankful she is trying to get her 'walk ' right. Also bio grandma attends church pretty regularly. She doesn't attend the bible studies but that's ok....she on the track for healing. Bio mom also has a newish friend she brings with her to church and ladies study...seems VERY nice. So, we are waiting for the news of the court hearing. The kids will keep their last name and hyphenated our last name on theirs. I think that's a great idea.

I had a grandson born in June in Honolulu Hawaii. Broke my heart not to be there. He was a VBAC birth. I was so proud of my girl for going all the way this time. She had C'section last time. He is a beautiful little boy. Very much more hispanic looking than his older brother...both are gorgeous!

Which brings me to the current news. I won tickets to see CASTING CROWNS!!! Whoohoo!!!! My favorite Christian Rock band! Love them and love their music. I will be taking my middle girl. It will be a blast. The concert is September 30th.  Mid October I will flying myself to see my Hawaiian kids. To hug and kiss them non stop!!! I can not wait! I miss them so much. I can't wait to hold my grandson for the first time...makes my heart ache to think about it. I know it will be here before I know it.

Summer vacation was too short. School started off FULL, rocky, crazy, and tiring!!! Hope it calms to a dull roar soon.

Hope if there is anyone left reading my blog, I pray you were blessed this summer. I pray you are blessed this fall.
Here are just a few random shots from our Summer Adventures...

Summer Vacation part 1





Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Seeing the finish line...

Met with our certifier yesterday and was told we should be getting a call from the State office regarding the adoption of our 2 foster kiddos. Today, the State called. We were approved for some adoption assistance which is great news and we will be receiving the paperwork in the next day or two to fill out for the "vendor" attorney. So, I am thinking the adoption should be final within the next month. In this case, it still always feels bittersweet. The bio mom now attends church with us and it appears she cares for us and trusts us, so to be happy with finalizing the adoption feels .....odd. The bio mom wasn't too thrilled with us hyphenating our name with the kids' last name...but she didn't create too much fuss and said she understood our reasoning. What's seems funny (lack of a better term) about that, is their last name isn't her last name. She still carries her maiden name. She does state though she is thankful she gets visits at all. She will get a visit once a month and she sees them at church weekly and sometimes twice a week. I know in my heart it is right. I pray I can always be a positive and Godly influence in her life. I desire so much to see her be victorious. I know she can be. Pray for her. I will call her TKA. Pray she can stay on the Godly path. I pray she grows and matures in the Lord. That she will in turn be able to be a Godly influence on her kids.
That's the newest new...not ready for school to start. Thankful our schools do not start until after the holiday. I like having my kids home. I like having the flexibility to do what we want when we want...but come it will.
We are blessed. We have our struggles....life is not easy...but we are soooo blessed. I am thankful and proud to call these two my kids.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Heart Break

Man...the heaviness that lays on my heart for the children of this world. It's crazy how they suffer. They suffer because those who should be responsible are not. Those who should be loving and selfless are not. Every country has them. Kids abandoned because of birth defects or disabilities or parents hooked on drugs or because the child is such an inconvenience for them, making their life feel so pathetic that they take it out on the innocent by beating them. The list goes on...so many...too many. The heaviness in my heart at times feels too great. I pray, I give money when I can, I share with others but the one thing I desire to do is give them a home...yet...I can not. It takes two...and in this case only one is on the 'ban wagon.' So...I continue to pray. I continue to share. I continue to cry. So many faces. So much beauty. Such treasures.

Look over this website and let your heart be broken. Let your feet be moved. Let your life give life. Save Teri Lyn...and others like her. Look and be changed. Look and be moved to action.

"Father God...protect these babies until they get homes. Give your people...your chosen the strength to go against the tide. The courage to stand before giant$. The compassion to use what gifts and finances they have, not to go on yet another vacation, buy more clothes, get a new car....and so...but to save a life. To give life to those who are emotionally and physically dieing. Father you have blessed so many with so much. May they use it to save these children...Father, give these children your peace and comfort while they wait. Allow your angels to minister to them. I love you God. In Jesus' name! AMEN!!!

Some of the waiting children
also...Northwest Adoption Exchange
and...http://www.adoptuskids.org/Child/ChildSearch.aspx

Monday, July 18, 2011

Yesiree, she is 3

"Yeehaw" Our beautiful and precious gift from God turned 3. I can't believe it, as usual, how time flies. We had a great celebration, even included the bio mom with our family and church family. BG had a great time. I am so thankful for the joy and beauty she brings to our life.
BG loves Jessie from Toy Story so that is the theme she picked out about 2 months ago and has talked about it ever since. So...that is what she got. A Jessie birthday. This little one has to be one of the prettiest little cowgirls I have ever seen.
'May the Lord Bless you and keep you, our precious baby girl, this day and for always'

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

God has Blessed America

I do love the 4th of July. It has always held such precious memories for me. I am originally from Oklahoma. Was born there in 65 and we took the Oregon Trail in 71. We landed in our new hometown on July 4th, 1971. As we were driving into town we were stopped in a small line of cars...a parade was passing through. When the parade finished we drove down the street and my parents saw my aunt heading to her car. That is the aunt we lived with for a while. Lived with her until we found our own  home. Every year after that we would get awaken in the morning by a person driving through town, calling out on a loud speaker to wake up and come to the pancake breakfast. Later in the morning we would head downtown to watch the parade. One of the highlights was a company would drive a log truck with the biggest tree on it I had ever seen. It was probably a normal sized old growth tree...but it was ginormous to me. Kids I would go to school with would be in the parade because their parents would part of the 'family business in our small community. All through the day there would be events. Events such as the greased pig race, running races, 3 legged races, gunny sack races and such. I tried a gunny sack race once...didn't win. They had fireman competitions that were fun to watch. Especially the fire hose competition. They had to shoot a firehose at a target and try to push it towards the other team while the other team is pushing it towards them. It was great fun for the kids because the water spray was fantastic. There was also a small circus that came to town every year. They had a trained bear and the woman was a little on the larger side but boy could she balance on a ball. LoL  The circus came with pony rides too. I remember I got to ride on one, one year. It was exciting.
I don't know what we did in the late afternoons. Bbq maybe? Not sure. But in the evening we would head back into town to the river, the Willamette River and find a spot to sit and then wait for the fireworks to start. I must say...I didn't like that part so much. I don't like loud noises especially explosions...so most of the time I would spend so much time plugging ears and covering my head.  Also older kids would throw firecrackers into the bystanders. So...that part of the 4th was a love hate. Overall...love. A few years ago...maybe 01 or 02 I had an aunt move into a home into that same town. Her home sat next to the river. We went there that 4th of July and oh my what fun. Watched the parade, enjoyed family, walked through town, listened to music and then the fireworks. We sat in her yard and the fireworks went off over our heads. It was spectacular. Loved it. The most amazing time.
In 92 my then husband and I moved to Eastern Oregon...a town called Vale. For the 4th we would go into town for a parade and later in the evening would watch the rodeo. The rodeo was fun. I really enjoyed it. The first night they would have what was called the suicide race. At the top of a bluff horses and riders would line up, a cannon would go off and down the side of the bluff they would come. All you could see was a dust trail. Within moments they would reach the river near the rodeo grounds, they would have to cross the river and and ride into the arena. Horses would fall but not get hurt. For 3 years in a row the same young guy would win. He had long hair, his shirt was always unbuttoned and he would come flying in way ahead of the others. The last year I was able to be there he had stiff competition. It was a young girl. She flew into the arena right at his heels...come to find out, she was his sister. Good times.
Now that we live in a suburb of a big city, we don't have a parade to attend. We stay home and just enjoy hanging with family. Usually my parents and my adult kids...along with all the kiddos still at home. It's nice. I love it. Funny the different paths your life can take.
Why do we do all this celebrating? Celebrate the birth of the United State of America. The land of the Free. We are free indeed. Free to worship, free to vote, free to have a voice...so much freedom. Freedom to choose whom you will worship. I chose to worship the living God. The Alpha and the Omega. The Creator of the all things. That is who I choose to worship. The one who I have the freedom to publicly worship. The one who allowed this nation to be built. Every year I share the one song that means so much. It has such simple lyrics...but means so much.
GOD BLESS AMERICA.
God Bless America, land that I love. Stand beside her, and guide her, thru the night with a light from above. From the mountains, to the prairies, To the oceans, white with foam God bless America,
My home sweet home.
I am grateful for his blessings. I know this nation is turning against him and with that will come consequences, but I will continue to be thankful and will continue to pray for our nation and our nations leaders. I for one and eternally grateful for the freedoms I have as an American citizen and especially the Freedoms I have in Christ.

Monday, June 27, 2011

June 25th 40 year Anniversary

My oldest sister just celebrated her 40th wedding anniversary. I have a few memories of that day. One of those memories is thinking "she looks so beautiful." I have always adored my sister. Today...my sister is still so beautiful. She gave my parents their first grandchild, my nephew. She then went on to have two more children...the youngest was a girl. That girl stole my heart. Oh how I adored her...maybe it was because I loved her mama so much. I idolized my brother in law. He was a dairyman, which meant he was around animals. How cool was that. Because of him I got to be around dogs, cats, cows, chickens, and horses. It was until many years into my adult years I discovered he never actually liked me...isn't the ignorance of children bliss!?!?! Though coming to that realization, that didn't erase the fond memories I had/have. I wouldn't trade those memories for anything. This couple meant the world to me, for so many years. Though we don't get together much anymore, I know I can call or go see my sister and she would still love me and make me laugh. She is a treasure. She had 3 great kids and 6 wonderful grand kids. It's amazing what young love can do!


Their 3 kids

Their 6 grandkids

The whole brood

Papa's favorite team...more ways than one
Lester and Angie today

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Ain't Happening

Finding time or mental focus to write these days just isn't happening. I don't know how some of those other moms do it. So I have decided to post random pics in those times I am not up to writing. Now that summer break is here..maybe...just maybe I will actually be able to focus and get my thoughts out on paper (screen).

My first random pic is ......ok...picS!

My DAD! In honor of Fathers Day
My dad married my mom when he was 19 years old...this August he turns 78 years old. Hard to believe. In my mind, I always remember him as the man with the dark hair and black rimmed glasses. Sitting on our front porch smoking a cigarette. He was grumpy, he was a hard man, he was judgmental, he was hard on my older siblings (me being the youngest), and he wasn't always the best husband, but I will say...he was a good dad. He always provided for us, he never left our mom, and he didn't beat us or molest us. In this day and age...that makes for a great dad. I am thankful for him. The man he is today is a far cry from the man he use to be. Age is partly to blame for that but there is also something else...grand-daughters. He was able to be around two of his grand daughters when they were born and as they have grown. When he was around my daughters I would look at him and think..."who the heck is that? Who took my dad and left this man behind?!" Especially my 3rd born...my second daughter (pictured below). She stole his heart and laid the foundation for when her sister was to come along 13months later. I am thankful for the relationship they have had with him. These days we tease the girls about having been replaced by a new girl...our Baby Girl BG.  She loves him and boy does she keep him in line. She has her Poppy wrapped around her finger.
The one picture I posted is of me and my brother. My brother was 4 years older than me and passed away when he was 12. That was the first time I ever saw my dad cry. That is one memory that doesn't leave my mind.
He is a good dad and I am thankful for him...yes, I am thankful for him.





The girl that changed my dad. This is her and my parents
at her 8th graduation this month.




Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Catching up

Not sure why life seems to be on an endless treadmill of trials, but it is. I remember years ago when the 'low tide' seemed to last for months before the next 'high tide' would come in...now...it seems I may get a day or two sometimes even a week, but that's stretching it.
Let me lay it out:
January
Car wreck, totalling my van and wrecking my nerves
February
My sister in law has a stroke and is diagnosised with diabetes
March
Japan has an earthquake, sets off a Tsunami, my pregnant daughter and 15mth old grandson are on the Island of Honolulu...ALONE...at night with warning sirens going off. She has no idea what to do or where to go. She finally connected with another Navy wife and they comforted each other and kept each company all night. What a sickening, helpless feeling for me as a Mama.
April
My foster daughter fell and cut her arm badly on a chain link fence. When
I heard her screaming and coming to the house, my heart felt like it stopped. As my
front door opened I was terrified as to what I would see. It was bad, not as bad as it could have been but the worse injury I have ever seen. We spent 5 painful, stressful, exhausting hours in the E.R. and she had 14 stitches.
May
My Beloved Mother goes in to have her heart checked because of some symptoms she had been having, she then had to go in for a 'stress' test and it came back saying there was 'obstructions.' She was then scheduled for a heart Stint. The day of that procedure the doctor came out and informed us she was going to need heart bypass surgery...TRIPLE bypass. My heart literally fell into my stomach. It was scheduled for the following Thursday.

The following Tuesday my adult son came home from work with severe stomach         pain and then vomiting. A trip to the ER, released a few hours later and only to return the next night. Two people in my life with serious medical problems..I honestly didn't know how I would hold up. I was in the midst of other huge trials in my life and then all of this came along. My son spent 2 weeks in and out of the hospital, 4 E.R. trips and finally he was diagnosed with Vasculitis and was put on  Prednisone. My mom came through surgery like a champ. She was released from the hospital 4 days after surgery. Remarkable and quite terrifying!!! They are both doing well. Life is a little more uncertain for both of them, but they are doing good. PRAISE GOD

And through all this...I survived. I aged 10 years, this was HUGE stuff to me and I felt on the breaking point with all of it...I know there are worse things and I won't even speak those things, but for me...this was right on the cusp of too much. I don't like the cusp. Now to look back and see if I have learned anything. I am still in the midst of a huge trial so it's hard to find time to seek out what lessons were learned, but I won't give up. I do believe God is trying to break this spirited hard head, for whatever purpose...I don't know. There is a purpose to everything.

My daughter is in Hawaii due to have my grandson any day. It has been a rough road for her...and for me. Because the 'loads' she carries I carry along with her. My heart breaks that I have not been able to share in this pregnancy with her. My heart breaks that I can not use our money to fly there to be with her. My heart breaks that my grandson could be months old before I meet him. It doesn't seem right. This is not the kind of mother I am...this is not the kind of life I imagined with or for my kids. We were always so close. This is hard for me...this is hard on me!!! Aspects of my life I hate...other aspects of my life I adore and wouldn't change it.

Took me an hour to write this with MANY interruptions. I love my kids...I adore my kids...I can tell that I am tired because so often I think about a vacation...away from my kids. To get away from all of this. Away from my home, my kids, my dogs and yes...my marriage! I guess I need a retreat more than a vacation.

That is the scoop...appears it's going to be a loooong year!
Come Lord Jesus, Come!
 


Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Hoarding?

Yesterday we bought our two boys a bunk bed. Oh what excitement filled the air. The younger of the two thrilled he would now have a 'top' bunk and the older of the two was thrilled because the lower bunk is a full size. It was getting late when the husband and son returned home with the bunk bed and we still needed to eat dinner. I wanted to wait to set up the bed but seeing the excitement in the face of my boys I decided to let them go ahead and set them up. I won't call it a mistake but I will say it is a challenge. Kids went to bed late, youngest boy slept on the couch and now my living room looks like a room from a 'hoarders' house. ugh! The problem is, we ran out of time last night to finish. I could finish it today but last Saturday I took a fall and fell on my hip onto a a wooden doll cradle. Very hard to lift and bend. So...I am handicapped at the moment. So so frustrating. I would love to just get it done. This is, however, a sign of what is to come. We will be rearranging 5 rooms. We have kids switching rooms and we will be turning the family room back into a bedroom. That means the family 'stuff' will be coming out to the living room. Not too happy about that...not looking forward to it at all...but it's for the kids. Kids present and maybe future kids. It is a home after all. It is going to take days to get all of it done. Oh how my kids have an abundance of stuff. We sort out and sort out and it just seems to never end. The kids are all excited though to get it done. I am excited to get my baby into her own room....actually not excited to get her 'into' her own room but to fix up her own room. Should be fun and she will be so excited.
So, today I will live in the house of a hoarder-dont-wanna-be and hope no one comes by to visit.
p.s. I just couldn't make myself post a pic...it's way too horrific. <lol>

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

What a week...

I said what a week but actually it all started on Saturday and a trip to the E.R. My little MK had an encounter with a chain link fence and she lost. The sound of one of your little ones screaming makes your heart stop. The first thing that happened was I heard something that didn't sound right...the kind of sound you stop and listen and you hear it, but really you don't...I think it is the heart that hears it and not the ears. So I stopped what I was doing and listened with my ears all the while heading towards our front door. Then I could hear a blood curdling scream as I got closer to our front door. My mind started to whir at this point. Before I could get to the door my little girl MK came flying in screaming that she got hurt. On her forearm was a hideous gouge/cut that ran width of her arm and just as deep. A trip to urgent care and then a trip the Emergency Room and 5 1/2 hours later my poor girl had endured serious pain of people checking the wound, an i.v., a wound washing, injections of lidocaine (which are horrible), and then the stitches. It was such a horrifying day. Trust me, I know, it could have been worse...it wasn't life threatening but in our world (our "playground" as our pastor would say) it was horrible. My poor dear ended up with 14 large stitches. It will be a pretty nasty scar. The things I was very thankful for was the GREAT nurses the Lord had there for us. I am thankful for the pain of the i.v. that delivered morphine to ease her pain and fear. I am thankful for medical care. Thankful for the meds that helped her with her pain and enabled her to sleep. Thankful my heart did not explode! She is doing well. She is back to school and enjoying the limelight...still sore but back to herself now.

On much more pleasant notes the day of the accident I learned that my 35 yr old niece is pregnant. She has a daughter who just turned 10. I was so surprised. Then yesterday a family friend who is the mother of 5 beautiful girls had a baby boy! So happy for them. Baby news is always exciting.

My girl K is due to have my grandson last part of May. I have come to the realization I won't be there for the birth. That pains my heart greatly. I at least wanted to be there to care for toddler grandson while mommy and daddy were at the hospital. I have prayed and prayed about it and it appears that God is making preparation for them...without me. Makes me sad, but I accept what God desires for my girl and for me.

Romans 3:22
"There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement, through the shedding of his blood—to be received by faith. He did this to demonstrate his righteousness, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished—he did it to demonstrate his righteousness at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus."


Justified Freely, Redemption through Christ Jesus! We are redeemed because of one thing.
JESUS!!!!

Friday, April 8, 2011

An amazing Mother's Day this year

So the 'Ultimate Blog Party' stuff wasn't for me. Too complicated, too time consuming. I just don't have enough time or energy to give it that much thought. I am not e-savvy so it takes too much time to figure that stuff out especially when you have made the decision not to pay anymore into this 'stuff.' I stay with my 'free' blog page....limited as it is...it works!

An Amazing MOTHER'S DAY

From one of my favorite blogs, Kelly's Korner, it's the infamous 'Show Us Your Life.' The topic this time is Mother's Day/Father's Day ideas. We don't make huge deals out of these holidays, usually just having a mild, quieter day is gift enough. We do sometimes give each other our favorite meal. This year for Mother's Day it will be different and I am excited. Our worship team has picked 3 hymns (plus our call to worship and 'new' song we always do). The 3 hymns are comprised of 3 people on our worship team who have shared with us what their Mother's favorite hymn was. Two of the Mom's have since passed away and one of the Moms is a mom in our congregation. She is in her 80's. That will be special...BUT what is special on that day to me is MY MOM, 3 of my daughters, and myself will be singing together. We will be singing an old hymn...one of MY mom's favorites. What a blessing that will be. I hope I can keep from crying. It will rank in first place next to the year my mom, my 3 sisters, and myself went to the coast for two nights. Oh what fun that was! It was amazing!!!!
Another aspect of Mother's day this year is my daughter due to have her second child...a son. My oldest daughter...a mother of two. How crazy that seems. I won't get to be there and that breaks my heart but we will be able to skype. Maybe she will have him on Mother's day...that would send me over the top! lol
So that is our plans for Mother's Day...haven't made any for Father's day yet. Maybe I will put my kids on that task! 

Monday, April 4, 2011

Just in Case....

Just in Case you are new to my 'world' (blog) I would like to say "WELCOME." A little about me and my blog. We are nothing incredibly exciting or feat defying. We are a Jesus follower, a Mom, a wife, a kids church leader, advocate for loving and raising kids of all kinds from all places in all means. I share my everyday life. I share my regular ol'thoughts. Either about facts or about feelings. I am not trendy and I don't have time to stay up on or figure out new gadgets. I have in the last year been striving to minimize aspects of my life and focus on God, Love, Family, and basics. Not to be caught up in the fast moving flow of worldly 'stuff.' Not that I am against it, it's just not for me these days. I worked many years and now have the opportunity to stay home and work here. I work to care for my home and my family. Putting God first. You will see glimpses of my life and you will meet all honesty with me. So, that's me and my blog in a nutshell. I would love to get to know other blogging moms out there...I like to pray for others so if you have a request...shoot me a note. This week is the Ultimate Blog Party I have never joined one before and thought I would give it a try. Sounds fun. If you came here from there, leave me a message letting me know and where you are from!! Enjoy and above all....be blessed!

Saturday, March 26, 2011

We MUST

We must fall on our knees and faces and lift up our prayers to the Living God, the Creator. Intercede for this little beauty and for his family. His God created his family and the darkness of this world is trying to interfere. The heart of the 'judge' can be changed. This battle can be won.

Please read No Greater Joy

God is listening, He hears our prayers and He knows our hearts...now show him our actions. Live your faith.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Yarrrr

My niece and nephew (he happens to be the 'Captain') have been part of a band of pirates here in the Portland Oregon area for a few years now....and, well I won't waste your time with words...enjoy the video and spread the word.

Pirates

We Are The Moms

We, as a family, had a huge step in the right direction this past Sunday. The bio mom of our two (pre) adopted kiddos came to church. It was fantastic. I could see how happy she was to be there and I think it proved to her the trust she can have in us to 'foster' a relationship between her, us, and the kids. There are certain people in my family that didn't think we should be that open. That we should give her the least possible, the every 3 months visit, but God says we are to love. Giving her the least amount of time with the kids possible is not showing her love. Giving her all the time possible with the kids and with us and loving on HER is showing HER love...showing her Gods love. So, she came to church service and the kids were thrilled. It went great. She now has my cell number too which I gave to her willingly. Now we have an open line of communication. That thrilled her beyond words.

God is the creator of ALL things. He loves all of us equally and for that I am thankful. The bio mom made some mistakes in her past...haven't we all? Her mistakes in the kingdom of God are no bigger than my mistakes. There is, after all, only one sin that can keep anyone out of heaven, the sin of unbelief. So pretty much...her and I are equal. We are suffering different consequences of our past mistakes but we are the same. We share the same kids. We love the same kids. We are equal. We are the Moms of MK and LB and we are ALL children of the KING!

Saturday, March 19, 2011

A Lovely morning in Oregon

It is a lovely morning here in Oregon. The sunshine greeted me this morning which was great. It made want to throw open the blinds and welcome it in. Don't get me wrong...I love rain, I really do...but boy that sunshine sure picks up the heart. It's a little cloudy again but at least the wind isn't blowing horribly.
Lot's to do today. I gave 3 haircuts this morning, waited to do my house chores until the showers were done, then in a bit a run to Target, then later we are attending a wedding. The kids are very excited about that...well the girls are that is. It should be a nice time of fellowship. The groom is Cuban and I hear there will be 'Cuban' food there so I am interested in trying that. The husband will be happy there is food there...he won't care what kind. So everyone should enjoy that part of it.

My girl in Hawaii still doesn't have a laptop and that does not make me happy. I miss seeing her and my grandsons face and talking with them. I love to sing 'our' little song to baby W. He loves when Nana sings him his song and he always claps and says "yea" at the end. I love it. I did send him a video from my phone of me singing. I heard he liked that. I ache so badly to see them. I am praying {begging} God to provide a way for me to get to that island to see my kids and welcome my new precious grandson when he arrives. Nothing is impossible with my heavenly Father...just have to figure out if that would be His will for me or not. He does know what is best.

I slept in this morning and have now spent too much time on the computer so now it's time for my shower. This country is so blessed....I am so blessed!!!

I have posted a couple of pics of the kids I take to church on Tuesday nights...they are great kids!!! The second picture is of them being 'normal.'



Friday, March 18, 2011

Changes are a comin'

We have had some changes come about in the last few months and I know more are on the horizon. The biggest change is that of the status of our 2 remaining foster kiddos. Their parents made loving difficult decisions to leave the kids with us. Believing it was what was best for them. I was stunned. It is such a bittersweet change. My heart breaking for their parents and for the kids and yet happy and blessed that God chose us to raise them. What an honor. They are amazing kids. Beautiful on the inside and the outside. They will, of course, stay in contact with their parents. I know in my heart their parents are their parents and always will be. I am not replacing them. I will now foster a relationship with them to keep them all connected. They all love each other very much and I know that will continue. The kids accepted the news pretty well. I think it was a little bit of a surprise especially for MK because she has looked to the day when she would return, but yet she also received it with relief. Happy a decision had finally been made and that they would no longer be flopping around in limbo.

Today is a big day. I meet with bio mom to work on some visitation stuff. We had a rough draft already which she accepted and today we are going to discuss more and get more detailed. I am not sure at this point if bio Dad has ever made contact with the mediator. He is struggling with other life issues right now, sadly, and it has been challenging. Praying he can pull himself back up for the sake of the kids and for his own sake as well.
So, in the next few months we will be an official family of 8. The kids want to add our last name to their name which I think he so endearing. I didn't expect it and didn't pressure them one way or another....but that is what they want and it will be great.
God has chosen me to birth 4 amazing kids for which I am so thankful and now at this time in my life...he has birthed 4 kids from my heart. My step son and the 3 the state delivered into our home. I love them so deeply and I am so thankful for each one.

Now to wait on the Lord and see what is coming next...one just never knows...does one...none but the Lord!!!

Monday, March 14, 2011

In a mere moment

I still have a hard time these days organizing my thoughts enough to write something coherent. But I push myself to write because I for one enjoy reading blogs and get tired of opening someones blog seeing the same post for days, weeks, months. So I will attempt to write something somewhat sensible.

Events of late have been mentally and emotionally 'whelming.' From marriages within our family breaking up, long term employments being terminated, dear friends and family with serious health problems...then the 'Over' whelming part...that mere moment in time when core of your being is jolted...the earthquake in JAPAN. It took me several hours before I began to worry about Japan and the people there because one, I didn't see any of it on the news and two, because my pregnant daughter and my grandson were on alert in Hawaii for a tsunami. She was all alone because her naval husband was 'underway' and it was dark outside and she didn't know what to do. My heart absolutely sunk into the soles of my feet. I was utterly helpless. There was nothing I could do....but pray. After about a half an hour of wracking my nerves I decided to go to bed. My heart and my brain could not handle anymore. I know some would think I should stay up all night with my girl on the phone...but I could not. I would have had her freaked out. I knew I needed to let her focus on the news and assess situation. I told her to call me if anything changed. I headed off to bed and while I snuggled into my bed with a heavy spirit, I laid it before my creator in prayer. I feel asleep after a time...while praying. It was a restless night and I woke early. I sent my girl a text not knowing if she would be awake or not...she wrote right back and she was fine. She had the one and only person on that island that she knew come and stay with her. Her friend was more afraid then she was. They were a great comfort to each other. I was so thankful that God brought them together. I sat at my computer and cried. I was thankful they were safe...I was thankful my girl was not alone. What a relief. The next day as I saw the news stories and the videos...then my heart broke for Japan. Only God knew what was coming. Only God knew how to help those who would die and those who would survive. Even today....I still feel at a loss of what happened and what I could possibly do...I pray. Father be their comfort. Be the living God that they will see and will cling to. The God that saves and gives eternal life. You are the only god that can not be destroyed. The only god that can not be ignored. "YOU are mighty to save." I pray that we your people will be more mindful of you. That we will live each day as if it is our last. We will live each day as if it may be our 'neighbors' last. Help us God, those still walking this earth who serve you, to seek you. To continue to learn your word and to put it into practice. That we will share and live the 'Good News.'
Pray for Japan, pray for those who travel to help Japan. Pray for the unbelievers, pray for the believers.
God bless each of us.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Finally...








We finally had some winter weather. It didn't last long, but it was sweet while it was here. Yesterday we had a snow day. We got 3 to 4 inches of snow....enough to cancel school and go outside and roll around. I love Western Oregon for this reason. We usually don't have ongoing inclement weather. I remember once we had a bad freezing rain storm and we were without electricity for 3 days...but the worse I remember. I lived in Eastern Oregon for 4 years and the first winter there was horrible. It was the worse and longest winter they had, had in years. Lucky me! Oc
tober came and the snow started to fall. It was exciting and awesome at first...but when January and then February and then March came around and we still had a bunch of snow on the ground...I was done. Not only was I new to that weather but we had moved onto a farm. The fences were in disrepair as the cows soon found out. I had to feed them everyday and break the ice off the water. It took us a while to get tank heaters, and water pipe heaters all hooked up running. Oh the whole other aspect was driving...thankfully God had blessed us with a 1 ton 4 wheel drive Suburban before we moved there. I would have been housebound many times and then I would suffered 'cabin fever' as well. It was an interesting winter...I learned alot and one of the most valuable things I learned while I was there...I much prefer the Oregon on the West side of the mountains.
Here are a few pics from our 'Snow Day' excluding the 2 teens who preferred to stay inside.
I will be honest and say I did pray and ask God to give us at least one day of snow...and He was gracious and did. Thank you Father. We had a great day.