Monday, October 17, 2011

The heart of this foster mom

The state called today...another baby needing placed. It is such a bag of mixed emotions for me. I don't know if everyone goes through this or it's just me or it's just because I am still relatively new at this compared to others. Since my first placements all stayed. BUT...how I feel is nervous as all get out. I also feel a little excited and I also feel very sad. Nervous because I have no idea what is coming. Will the baby be cranky?Will the baby be overwhelmed with what just happened. Will the baby be needy? Alot of questions. I feel a little excited because I just love babies and I especially love baby girls. Getting to get them all dressed up and pretty. Then there is the feeling of sadness...know that a broken person just created a broken family. Especially in this case...knowing that as I am typing, the state is on their way to remove the baby from custody. So very very sad. So, I can't be all just one emotion. I can't be all nervous. I can't be all excited. I can't be all nervous. BUT I can't be this one thing...faithful. I can rest all that I am into the great 'I Am.' He knows all about this little one. He knew she would be coming our way. He knows what she needs, what her mama needs, and all her family. He is the only one who can do anything about it. I will be the tool to care for and love on this little one until....until....until whatever happens happens. I do appreciate the opportunity to pray for all of them...all the family involved. I pray with all my heart the little one is not scared when she gets here. That will be heart wrenching. I pray...I mean PRAY and ask God to bless her with peace as soon as she comes through our door. That her heart and mind will feel at ease. He will do this...I believe He will.  To be continued......

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