Porters Portals

We made it, she is our girl. The judge signed the papers. We were surrounded by family and friends. It was beautiful. It was hectic, chaotic, surreal and yet beautiful. My family and I met my parents, a family friend, and one of my sisters at a 'MAX' stop (that is our rail transit) and we headed to downtown Portland. At one point my husband told me what time it was and my heart fell. I knew in that instant we were going to be late. LATE? To our daughters adoption ceremony? I couldn't believe. I have not felt that sick to my stomach in so long. Once off the MAX me, my daughter in-law and two of my girls walked (pushing strollers) as fast as we could to the courthouse. When we got there the line going through security was L-O-N-G. The jurors were coming back from lunch. Oh how I wanted them to realize how much more important our business in that court house was! (lol) so we took our turn. Both my daughter in law and I beeped...ugh! I had to remove my shoes...she had to remove...

Yes I have other kids...I know I usually post pics of the baby...so I thought I would take this time to post pics of the others....

Seriously? October? How..when did that happen? I just can't believe it. Sometimes this whole 'time' thing is really hard to wrap the brain around. Life goes by so quickly. Most days I wish it didn't, but there are those days when I am glad it does. There hasn't been too many exciting events in the Porter house, aside from camps, school starting, stomach flu, and things like that. Just 'run of the mill' stuff. We had 2 monumental birthdays this summer. A 16th and a 13th. Yikes! There is exciting events in our very near future though. The adoption is only but a day away. Our entire family is over the top excited about that. Will be glad when the document is signed. Then I can take a deep breath. Today my baby has a final state conducted visit. There has been no indication of possibility of bio mom taking flight with BG, but yet my heart feels cautious. There will be 2 case workers present so that does give me some comfort. I am not worrying, but I am praying. ...

YES...we have a date. The adoption of our precious BG will be on October 5 th downtown Portland. We are having an 'adoption ceremony.' I have no idea what to expect but don't even care. Just want to be there and see it made official. This judge has known BGs bio mom for several years. I am glad it will be her signing the official document. Please never think I am being cold and callous in regards to bio mom, because I am not. She is a constant thought in my mind. I feel sad for her. My heart has broken many times over her....but right now and in the next month it will be all about my baby girl. Because God has chosen us to raise this amazing child. God has placed her in our family and though I am sad about the bio's life choices or her history I am choosing to rejoice and celebrate the gift God has given us. This little girl is amazing and I know I have done nothing in my life to deserve something so amazing. I am thankful and grateful that for whatever reason or r...

We made it to Hawaii and I have returned...alone. I had never been to Hawaii so it was exciting to see it and get to see a few historical landmarks and some traditional Hawaiian spots, such as Waikiki...BUT just as I thought my heart was weighed down the entire time. It didn't help that my little guy had a bad rash on his bottom that made him very uncomfortable and cranky and that my daughters monthly friend returned the day after we arrived there. Then the day I was to leave she developed a bladder infection. Yeh...all that really helped me want to leave...not! I needed to stay to care for them. But I did my duty and I loaded my bags, made my way through security with tears streaming down my face and then got around the corner and had a cry fest. I wanted to sob...but I at least controlled that. I only cried a few tears as my plane left the island and I left my precious kids behind. It's been hard to shake the sadness...I hope it passes. I do...I want to be happy for them and...

So, I did finally find out what the 'call' was about and it wasn't that big of deal. Something a 'loving' family member accused me of years ago and decided to resurrect it when I started fostering. The state didn't take it too seriously but had to follow up on it. I explained everything and they were satisfied. I won't go into details, just know I am ok and even more important...the kiddos are ok. All is well. The 'dark one' tried to stop what God set into motion but it didn't work. God was victorious again...like duh! Of course He was! He IS the Alpha and the Omega...the creator, the savior, the everlasting Almighty God! I am glad though that little bump in the road is done...for now! The liers and the backstabbers REALLY need to move on and get a life!

My daughter K will be leaving for Hawaii tomorrow and will be taking my precious grandson also. I do have the blessing of going along with her, but oh how my heart is heavy and will even say that it is broken. I will miss her so much but my grieving is over my grandson. The thought of missing him grow and change is so hard. The thought of not kissing and snuggling him at least once twice a week is heart breaking. He will be a different little boy when I see him next. God willing that will be December...when he is one. Then I won't see him til next summer. It's just so much for my heart. I hope to enjoy our time there...but I already know that my heart will be so heavy.

Yesterday I got up early to 'spiff' the house up in preparation of a visitor...a visitor of legal sorts. The Legal Assistant to an attorney for one of my kiddos. So I am 'spiffing' the house and get over to my desk where I see I have a message on my phone. Weird...I didn't even know I had missed a call on Monday or Tuesday. So I listen and suddenly what, if any bliss I had while cleaning pretty much came crashing down. It was our state certifier (now I share this story as not a way to air dirty laundry but to allow you the opportunity to share in this experience and to learn along with me) and she said she had received a report she needs to discuss with me. Nothing extremely serious but needed to be addressed. There are probably some out there that would hit delete and let it go. Oh no, not me. I have a weakness (well several...but this is the one being addressed), I worry. She didn't give me any clue as to what the 'report' was so I can't even t...

So all along I have been blaming myself for the blogging slumber. Thinking I was in a funk...a foul mood. Nothing good to write about. Can't keep a thought and so on and so on.... Could this possibly be the reason I have trouble blogging?

I have contemplated for quite a while opening our home to more kids. Is it the Holy Spirit nudging? I kept telling myself we can't because we don't have a large enough van. I also knew we couldn't fit more bodies around the dining room table. Well...we found a table. It extends to 8' long. So...I continued to think...well we still don't have a van or money to buy one. Then one Sunday I thought (again...was it the HS) turn the family room into a bedroom. So no w I am wondering is God testing me? Because I have held onto that family room. It's actually a larger bedroom we turned into a family room. I like it so. It's where the t.v. is. It's where the toys are. It's where all the family pictures are hung. I really like that room. So, is God testing me? Is he waiting for me to step out in faith before he opens the door to blessings? I don't know really. I want to know this is from him. I have so far turned our entry area into a dining room, to accomm...

We were actually able to escape for a day this week. It was nice. One of my favorite places on earth...the Oregon co ast. Lincoln City to be exact. The sun was shining, the wind was blowing which made it quite chilly and the little one didn't like walking on the sand. She is funny about things. So she sat quite a while...which is very much unlike her. Then she rolled around the blanket some and then later she sat in my beach chair. Funny duck. The other two (we only took 3...the other 3 were scatter amongst family) had a great time. They were freezing half the time but would warm up quickly and go off again. The beach we go to has a small river that feeds into the o cean. It's called a river but looks like a small creek. Just perfect for Little ones to play in. We found our beach treasures, got a few sunburns (me) then after a few hours went to dinner at my favorite coastal restaurant....Mo's. The kids ate great. Little MK had clam chowder for the first time and loved it. S...

I want to write, I want to share, I want to get on here and spill my heart....but it seems my mind is always a jumbled mass of much! This jumbled mass seems to have difficulty forming a sentence. Difficulty just forming coherent thoughts. Nothing is wrong mind you...I can think but it seems with so much going on, the thinking is on overload and it tends to 'spark' inside this skull. I enjoy reading other blogs and yet seem to have a hard time doing that even. Facebook....maybe it's facebooks fault. Short little tidbits. Teency bits of information here and there...it seems to fit my mental lifestyle....or has it trained me to find comfort in those teency bits of information? Nah...it's just me. We have had our bouts with illness'. From strep throat, to colds, to stomach flu. Good times! not! We are in the middle of the adoption for our youngest. She is legally free...I guess you could say she is an orphan now. Sad that it came to that. Sad her bio Mom wasn't able...

I really dislike going so long between posts because I never know where to start....what to share...a little 'writerswhelmed.' . I will start with facts: Summer is in full swing. We have bug bites to prove it. Mosquito's are horrible this year. We have gone through 2 cans of bug spray in 2 weeks. I can't imagine those who live this daily. A few have been to our lovely and local Multnomah falls once so far. Took my youngest kiddo and my youngest grandson. Their first time being there. We had lunch, which my eldest daughter paid for, and then we went and had icecream. A great day. We had a family bbq at my nieces house of the 3rd of July...my middle daughters birthday. Nice seeing family and getting to hug on my brother. He brought newly acquired pictures of my nephew and some oldies of my siblings. As for my daughters birthday...she turned 13...TEEN. sigh...these kids...they grow up way too fast. She, for one, has been acting like a teen since she was 2 or 3...so there a...

We had some shocking news in our family the other day. My nephew, the only child to my oldest brother, passed away suddenly. His wife found him on Thursday. He lived in Carson City Nevada. He was only 33. I am sad at the loss of life. I am sad that the namesake to my dad and my brother is gone. I am sad that the only red headed boy of my parents 16 grandchildren has left us. My greatest sadness is that my brother, my only surviving brother, has lost his baby! His one and only child. The one he was so thrilled and proud to bring into this world. The one he showered with love and gifts. The one who held his heart. It has brought a huge sadness over our family. My brother and him had been estranged for a few a years and just last month 'friended' each other on Facebook. I was so happy that they had taken this step to healing their relationship...then this happened. It doesn't make sense to me, but I know God knew this was coming. God, I believe, allowed the door to reconciliat...

I have been a little down, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Hence the lack of posts. I miss posting but mostly I miss reading blogs. It was always uplifting to sit with a cup of coffee and read thoughts and feeling from different women in the U.S. Being down has affected that some along with the interruptions of the little one and the endless lists of appointments and house chores needing to be done. I really dislike when blogs I get accustom to reading suddenly stop writing (not as much as when they put a password block on it without warning their readers) but never less....I understand when people have lack of time or energy to write...but as a reader I miss it. So I apologize to the few who read (or use to read) mine. I am hoping in the next few months life within the Porters home will be calm or organized enough to where I can have a routine of reading blogs again. As for me and my house, we are well. Busy, crazy, noisy and well. Thank you God! Hope all is well with you. Go...

I don't mean to be so neglectful with blogging as of late but it seems so little time and energy. I did have time to catch up on blog reading and once again... Kellys Korner had a 'Show us Your Life' I wanted to participate in.... Your Kids Names.... I have a formal name, Malissa, but my family and friends always called me Missy. So I decided that was what I would do with my kids. Give them formal names with a good nickname. James Allen - Waaaay back in 85 I had my first child. My first love! I named him James Allen and usually call him Jamie or Jake. He was named after my Grandfather who passed away when my dad was 12. I gave him the middle name of Allen, after my husbands best friend. Karina Rose - In 1988 I was blessed with a daughter. I was going to name her Alissa...but it just never set right with me. Maybe because it didn't have a nickname I liked. My sister and I sat around the table one day talking about it and she liked the name Carrie. So we played around w...

In 1998 I was pregnant with my youngest (my 4th) and I became a single Mom. It was one of the toughest years of my life. I had no idea how I was going to survive. I was left with a car payment, a mortgage, a credit card bill, a job making $8.50 an hour, 3 kids with one on the way. It was pretty dismal. But God showed up, in a matter of speaking. He was always there but he was put on the back burner so I could 'run' my life. So when I hit bottom, what did I do? I looked up. I asked Him for help. At first I just survived. I would rely on him and then fall back into old habits of relying on myself. But he never let me fall far. I had a healthy beautiful daughter join our family. A daughter who's name means beloved, and that she was! She filled a hurting heart. I then transferred into a different position with a great increase in pay, found a wonderful daycare provider (who is now a dear friend), paid off the credit card with a hefty tax return, met some new friends and grew a ...

Yep...I'm having a hard time blogging these days. Between going crazy with appointments, reading for state required training, caring for the kids and house I just can't seem to find the time to write. Actually it's more that I can't seem to keep a thought and put it in writing. Scattered thoughts all the time. I even have a hard time reading. My mind flits from one thought to the other. The house is always a mess it seems so it beckons to me constantly. The weather is getting nicer and I have not worked outside on the other nice days we had until yesterday. I finally worked outside for a couple of hours on Monday. It felt so good. Aside for interruptions, kids asking for snacks or playing with friends and whatever, I was alone outside. Just me and my little messy sanctuary. The birds, the breeze, the train. I enjoyed it. I needed it. It is far from how I would like it to look but it is ours and I enjoy being out there. I miss having a farm. I miss the sounds of cows, ch...

I am participating in a Blog Hop with 'Where Laughter Lives.' We are sharing pictures from Easter. We had a great Holiday. My adult kiddos, my two grandsons (though the 3 mth stayed asleep in his stroller the whole time...what a good boy)and all my at home kiddos had a great time on the Easter Egg Vacuuming. It's not really a 'hunt' it's always more like a giant kid vacuum. Then Resurrection Sunday each kid woke to a basket partially full of yummy stuff. We had one sick one during the night Saturday night so I stayed home from church with her. Poor baby. So sad she couldn't go to church to wear her new dress. Then hubby came home and watched sick girl while I went to a nursing home with a few of my church family to have church service with the residents. I then went on to my parents house where I met my other kiddos and we had a nice easter dinner. The weather over the weekend was pretty nasty...but nothing too unusual for the Pacific Northwest. Being wit...