Yesterday I got up early to 'spiff' the house up in preparation of a visitor...a visitor of legal sorts. The Legal Assistant to an attorney for one of my kiddos. So I am 'spiffing' the house and get over to my desk where I see I have a message on my phone. Weird...I didn't even know I had missed a call on Monday or Tuesday. So I listen and suddenly what, if any bliss I had while cleaning pretty much came crashing down. It was our state certifier (now I share this story as not a way to air dirty laundry but to allow you the opportunity to share in this experience and to learn along with me) and she said she had received a report she needs to discuss with me. Nothing extremely serious but needed to be addressed. There are probably some out there that would hit delete and let it go. Oh no, not me. I have a weakness (well several...but this is the one being addressed), I worry. She didn't give me any clue as to what the 'report' was so I can't even tell you how many scenarios have gone through my mind. Thinking...what if I have yelled one too many times at the kids? What if I did not make them keep their rooms clean enough. Is my room too dirty? What if I don't make them bathe often enough...is not every 2 or 3 days enough? What if MK was mad at Papa Larry because she got in trouble for talking back...did she tell them he was "mean?" What if it's because I have late bills? What if the kids told a lie (I doubt it)? What if it's because the day Papa L babysat he didn't feed them lunch before going of on a visit? When I asked him why, he said "they never said they were hungry." Ugh!.....So, yeh. I pretty much obsess over things. I DON'T like surprises so I try to think of every possibility. Sadly, the certifier only works Mondays and Tuesday....I will have to wait a week for the 'results'...I mean the phone call.
We are not bad people. I don't abuse or neglect my kids so why would something like this tap into my 'dark' side...that worry section!
It's still nagging at me...but I am going to try and let go of it. Focus on the kids today. I have plans to take them to some of our local waterfalls. It's free, it's close, and it's beautiful.
So today, Lord, help me to live Matthew 6:34 'Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own." AMEN!!!