Saturday, June 6, 2009

Dealing with Anger

I was preparing for bed and just felt overwhelmed with emotions. I have a sick daughter today. VERY sick and so my mind has ran wild with thoughts of serious diseases and such. It's crazy. I have never been an over reactive Mom but lately with all the deadly stuff that goes around it can be scary. It's also been a week and a half of stress with the state. Though we did only have 1 parental visit last week, this weeks was cancelled one hour before they picked up LB. ONE hour. It was a break down in communication. I was so frustrated because 1, Bio Mom can not keep her mind off herself and keep her focus on these kids. So, she is not longer in a stable environment for visits. Grrrrr!!! The same day I find out that the foster baby has to go and visit her bio mom in jail. That one angers me to no end. It is not about the baby, it's not even about the mom really. It's about the attorney's making people jump through legal hoops because???....because they can! It's all about making appearances. This one visit for this one month is not going to make any difference in that childs life. If anything it will stress her being with someone she does not know, taken somewhere she doesn't know and then passed off to a weeping overly emotional woman she does not know. Where is the childs rights? Where does the 'best interest of the child' come in?!?! It isn't about the child in this situation or in many situations. So where do I place this anger? At the feet of my savior. Place it there and leave it. There is nothing I can do about the situation. I can only pray. I pray for the kids. This mess of a life causes them stress and sorrow. I am thankful they are here. I am thankful we are able to be in a situation where we can love them. We are not perfect, by far, but we do have a safe and stable home and we do love them.
So I will go to bed and pray God would heal my heart and my mind in my sleep and help me to NOT pick up the anger and carry it back to my realm again.
Pray for ALL the hurting kids in the world.

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