Sunday, May 3, 2009

Two little words that carry such a punch!

So, what are the two little words that can carry such a punch. Words that can bring complete joy and also strike fear or heartbreak? The words are.... "I'm pregnant!" yep...those words. No it's not me! Wish I could say that it is, but I can't and never will again. There were three out of 4 times in my life it brought me joy to say those words....the last time was with heartache. BUT with that heartache came one of the greatest loves of my life. At a time when I needed it so desperately. My 4th child was created within me just 3 months after my 3rd child was born and while I was on birth control. My 3rd pregnancy was difficult for me so the thought of carrying another child was painful. Then the day she was born, the love that poured from her was miraculous. Even before I knew that of her I had chosen her name...the meaning was 'beloved' and she was and is. So I of all people know how a new life created is precious no matter what.
So, you may be wondering who in my life said those 'two little words' to me that turned my heart upside down? It was my 21yr old daughter K. She is not married, not even living with her BF but she is with child. Her BF is also enlisted in the Navy and goes to boot camp this August and then to God knows where. So, she will home alone while growing the baby. So, my heart broke not because of a baby but because of my girl. Knowing how hard the road is going to be for her. I was single for 7 1/2 years and worked full time and had two in daycare. I know how difficult it is. It breaks my heart for her. My other worry is for her back. In 2000 she had a 14 hour back surgery to correct her severe scoliosis. She had rods installed, 2 discs were fused, donor bone was used to recreate some of her spine and so much more. So the thought of her poor little back carrying the weight of a baby while Mommy is trying to work to make a living worries me to the depth of my heart. I know she will manage and I know she will be a great Mom but still this mommy heart had to mourn what she lost. I mourned her freedom. But after a few days of mourning, I have now replaced it with joy. Joy that is a new life created. God knows the name of the baby already. He knows the plans and purpose he has for this child. I will walk all the way with my girl. I will help her when she needs and I will hold her when she needs that too. So pray for my girl. Pray her back will stay strong as she works. Pray God would bless her with an uneventful pregnancy. Pray she will draw to HIM. Pray she will give her life fully to HIM. Pray that I will have time and strength to do what I need to do.
Sooooo I get to be a grandma again and kiss a precious little ones face......gotta love that part!!!

1 comment:

Angela said...

Thanks for sharing your story of mourning and how God can turn it to Joy, as in any situation. It doesn't mean we forget or feel the pain still, but it means our Father will see us thru. I'll be praying for K! Thanks for visiting my sight. Sorry it took so long to get to yours!