Porters Portals

My birthday has come and gone and I am now in my last year of my 40's. Seems rather odd saying my age...49...it just doesn't seem right. It's not that I am so 'young at heart' but I did get kinda stuck in my 30's I guess. Though my mind and heart are still not caught up to my chronological age, my body has. Aches and pains and failing eyes. gads! I have managed to lose a few pounds since January 1st and keep doing some sort of work out. I have not been consistent but I am doing something most days. I reinjured my back in November and I am still struggling through that. It's pretty frustrating not being able to do what I normally do or as long as I normally would do something. I am still hopeful it will get better and it will go back to it's pre-existing condition. I know my extra weight has contributed to the problem. I have been able to walk farther on the treadmill without wanting to throw up due to the back pain and I can walk through the grocery st...

I have many times signed on to write a blog post and then there are too many interruptions or I feel I have nothing of value to write...so I end up signing off. It's been several months since I posted last. Our last three foster placements were all transferred, either to other foster homes or family. It was a huge challenge this time. The last wee one we had (or was allowed by us) to have the power to keep our home in a turmoil. She was only 3 years old (turned 4 while she was here) but she had a very challenging personality that did not mix with the majority of my household. She, for good reason, had a very negative spirit and could throw the biggest screaming tantrums I have ever experienced. If she didn't have such a negative effect on my family, I really believe she could have been loved through it. She did get returned to a parent and in this case I believe that was a good thing. So, we only had her 4 1/2 months and I hope we were able to plant some seeds of love and joy....

Just as I entered the joy and comfort of summer...the state began calling. Two cases and three kids later we had 8 kids in our home. It quickly became rough. Almost overwhelming at times and that's not even the kids. It's everything involved in having kiddos placed. The priority is getting the kids, who are scared and overwhelmed settled in. Then the next step (before you can blink an eye) is the phone calls start. All the people who are wanting this and that from you and the kids. It felt pretty much non stop. Phones calls in and out. Appointments and parental visits. I had reached my limits...at least I felt I did. The kids were 5 (with delays and speech impediment),1 yr old needy baby, and also a 3 year old girl from another family. I won't go into details of all the requirements and requests, but it's taxing...especially when you already have a marriage and 5 kids, 3 dogs, cat and home you are managing. Not to mention other emotionally draining events happening with...

The exchange student we had for the month of January was amazing. She fit our family perfectly. We were so nervous and yet again...God called us to it...and He worked it out perfectly. She was so sweet and gladly accepted our crazy house and our affection. Two days before she left we were in my car alone and I mentioned how she would be leaving soon and I couldn't believe it. She started to cry. Oh my goodness...that touched my heart. I figured she was ready to go home. The day she left, she sobbed and sobbed and didn't want to let us go! We all cried. Even my baby girl. She was so broken hearted to see Mayu (My-oo) leave. It was so difficult. We have stayed in touch. What a blessing. She calls me Mom. So I consider her my other daughter. God is amazing at the plans he makes and the blessings he has in store for us. Ones we would never imagine in our wildest dreams. I never imagined myself having a exchange student. I never imagined falling love with a young girl from Japan...

February is already on it's way out! I just can't seem to say it enough...time sure flies! I have tried reducing my activities in order to create more time for family and my home and yet there doesn't seem to be more time. God knows what He is doing. Times are hard and will get harder. If the days were long and seemingly never ending, our hearts could not endure. Watch the news for an hour and see the truth in that. The family is going great. Alot of illness this year...stomach flu and resporitory stuff. There is never a moment goes by that someone is blowing their nose, sniffing, coughing or clearing their throat. Quite an orchestra! But other than that all is well. I have lost 17lbs and gained back about 4. Fatigue has returned. I felt great for a while and then wham the energy was gone. So frustrating. Last week was not a very good diet week. I do so much better when I plan our meals in advance and have everything purchased. So easy and yet many times I just don'...

Like is but a breath, a vapor, a mist...the bible refers to and what truth once again. As I look over a few pages of my blog, starting at my last entry which was August of last year, I can't believe the time that has passed and the events that have unfolded and it is all in the blink of an eye. Some of that is good....most of it not so much, especially when it comes to my kiddos. Oh how I desire for them to stay little and young.  When they become adults (I know, because I have two) it seems that time slows and then you can catch a breath and enjoy the pace...then what happens? They give you grandchildren. It's back to the races as you watch your sweet grandchildren spring up before your eyes. But, what amazing beauty God has blessed us with. Life is full of sadness and heartache and tragedy....but the thread of beauty is always there. Sometimes blatant, sometimes subtle. blatant would be to hold a newborn and sit in awe of the miracle that you are beholding. Subtle would be to...

I just don't know how other mom's do it...how they manage to find time. I had hoped to write more during summer break...I even cancelled all appointments for the month of August...too the month off from Worship Team at church and yet...summer vacation ends this week. I am, again, profoundly sad. I am not ready for my kids to go off everyday to the places called 'school.' I like them home. I like for us to get up when we are ready and not because the alarm insists. I like that my kids have to be called in for dinner when the sun is just beginning to set and not because they didn't finish their homework or because it's dark before dinner. Yeh...snivel whine! I should be saying how happy and thankful I am that my children have a free education. That my daughters as well as my sons can get an education. I should be saying I am grateful my children are healthy. I should be looking forward to only one child at home during the day. I should be excited that I only have ...