Porters Portals

God is Awesome...His love is amazing. His grace is bewildering! I love the Lord and gave Him my heart...and several years after that I gave him my life...and yet there are times when I take it back and do what I want...and then fail miserably. With that said...it always blows me away that MY GOD, MY SAVIOR will still bless me. I don't mean bless me in the midst of my sins...but will bless me in spite of my sins. This brings me to this post.....When I look at the face of this amazing, beautiful, precious little girl...I get blown away....HE chose me to raise this precious one. There are thousands upon thousands that God the Creator could have chosen to raise these kiddos in my home...but He chose me. He chose me to raise this little girl...HE chose ME! I do not take that for granted. I am so thankful and so grateful. This little one came to us when she was 2 months old....she became ours 1 1/2 years ago....yesterday...she turned 4 years old. FOUR!!! This little being makes me laug...

This is a quickie to say I am still here...still following the Lord...still loving my family...still doing the best I can on a daily basis. I am hoping to start getting some plans and schedules in place to help me get ahold of life a little better...knowing full well my Lord is still the one in the lead. I hope to blog a little more often...it amazes me how there are so many women (and men) out there who blog reliably and are also soooo busy...I don't know how they do it. Maybe having organized thoughts isn't as hard for them as it is for me...LoL Here are some pics....thanks for visiting  My beautiful Easter Girl  Our first camp trip of the year  My family had the opportunity to meet Jackson Galaxy (Host of 'My Cat From Hell' Animal Planet)  Two of my grandsons wrestling on a beach in HAWAII!!!  My handsome son and his beautiful family My daughter and son in law

We Western Oregonians are sure having bi-polar weather. We had two days of clear, sunny, and pleasantly warm. Then we had a wind storm. We then had 2 or 3 days of solid pouring rain and in the middle of the night...we had snow! Today is mild and sunny with a nip in the air. Last week I would stoke the woodstove up in the morning to get the chill out of the air, the sun would pop out soon after and begin to bake the roof. By 2 p.m. I let the fire burn out and I would open the windows. Crazy. I do, however, love the cool/cold days with all sunshine. I did alot of spring cleaning, with the help of my beautiful mother, during that week. The sunshine sure helped. The daffodils are blooming, the Daphne is budding, and other spring flowers are just popping their head out of the cold sun starved soil. I have seen pictures of the gorgeous "I love spring" forsythia. Love that stuff but don't own myself. Maybe again someday. It is such a celebratory bush. Having survived the cold d...

2012 already? Geesh...I didn't really have a grasp of 2011...but I can say with confidence I am glad to see it go. A year I really didn't want to hang onto anyways. In October I went to Hawaii and stayed with my adult daughter and 2 grandson for about a week. Then we all flew back to Portland. Dreaded that 5 1/2 hour airplane ride as much as a root canal, but it went great. I had alot of people praying us over the Pacific. We had an almost 2 year old who was in full 2 year old form and a 4 month old. I was afraid that half way home we may just get chucked from the plane due a screaming toddler...but we weren't and he only let loose a couple of times. Thank you Jesus...and that is sincere! After arriving home we got a call soon after, that the state would be transferring our newest foster baby to a relative...We were told originally that we would have her until January and there was no family "suitable" for her to be transferred to.  So, when the state called it ...

The state called today...another baby needing placed. It is such a bag of mixed emotions for me. I don't know if everyone goes through this or it's just me or it's just because I am still relatively new at this compared to others. Since my first placements all stayed. BUT...how I feel is nervous as all get out. I also feel a little excited and I also feel very sad. Nervous because I have no idea what is coming. Will the baby be cranky?Will the baby be overwhelmed with what just happened. Will the baby be needy? Alot of questions. I feel a little excited because I just love babies and I especially love baby girls. Getting to get them all dressed up and pretty. Then there is the feeling of sadness...know that a broken person just created a broken family. Especially in this case...knowing that as I am typing, the state is on their way to remove the baby from custody. So very very sad. So, I can't be all just one emotion. I can't be all nervous. I can't be all excit...

The state came and took 'the baby' today to take her to her new, possibly temporary home. I am honest and will say I was a little sad when they called yesterday to tell me. I felt like she would stay...but I guess it was just wishful thinking. It is out of my hands and I don't know her future or what she truly needs. Only one does and that is the Almighty Living God. This is the door he opened for her so, I prayed her through it. All week I have prayed for her and her situation. I have prayed alone in silence, prayed alone out loud and even prayed at 'Worship' practice with some of my brothers and sisters. That tiny baby girl is covered!!! If anything evil tries to come against her, it will not break through the barrier of Gods mighty angels. His hand is over her. So thankful I have Him to put my trust in. So, she is gone...the crib is empty. Forgot one of her bottles sitting on my kitchen counter drying...that tugged my heart a little. I know this ministry isn...

We have a foster baby with us right now. She is almost 3 weeks old. Oh my goodness she is tiny and so precious. It is so bitter sweet. I know this is Gods ministry, I know we are in this to help keep children loved, blessed, and safe until they can return to their healthy parents...but oh how this will be a challenge for me. Letting her go. Better sooner than later...but already my kids are madly in love with her and each day I can feel my heart absorbing her more and more. A woman I really appreciate and she is founder of 'Project Hopeful' always says..."it's not about me" or "remember...it's not about you!" I totally agree...it isn't about me. It's about my God and it's about this baby who needed a safe haven until God allows her to go where ever she needs to go...but my heart ....is me. That part is me and that part of me can feel the sadness creeping in. It's the lack of faith, because I worry about where will she go...to whom is ...