Changes...

2012 already? Geesh...I didn't really have a grasp of 2011...but I can say with confidence I am glad to see it go. A year I really didn't want to hang onto anyways. In
October I went to Hawaii and stayed with my adult daughter and 2 grandson for about a week. Then we all flew back to Portland. Dreaded that 5 1/2 hour airplane ride as much as a root canal, but it went great. I had alot of people praying us over the Pacific. We had an almost 2 year old who was in full 2 year old form and a 4 month old. I was afraid that half way home we may just get chucked from the plane due a screaming toddler...but we weren't and he only let loose a couple of times. Thank you Jesus...and that is sincere!
After arriving home we got a call soon after, that the state would be transferring our newest foster baby to a relative...We were told originally that we would have her until January and there was no family "suitable" for her to be transferred to.  So, when the state called it was a surprise and the kids were saddened...me on the other hand, was sad to let her go and yet relieved. That 9mth would NOT sleep well and it wasn't just the fact she woke up every hour and half.....it was when she did wake she would burst into a high pitched scream instantly. Whew doggies! That gives your heart a jolt! Made a VERY exhausted foster mom!

November arrived and was gone in a blink of an eye. The Hawaiian girl is trying to go here and there and enjoy being in her old stomping grounds but sadly she didn't want to drive my "bus" so she had to rely on me. I had a home and 11 people to care for! We did a few things and it was fun...long story short...she is now driving herself around in the "bus." Still gets bored watching t.v. and checking Facebook..but she survives. I know she is enjoying being around family and but she also misses her home and her schedule very much. I know she won't miss the fact her 2 year old and my 3 year old love to make each other scream in anger...yeh...that's a joy!

December flew at us and left us in the dust. Christmas was nice. All the family was together except for my son inlaw who was out in the Persian Gulf somewhere on a Naval ship. The kids enjoyed themselves very much as usual. We didn't have snow (which is not unusual for our part of Oregon) but it was nice Holiday anways. We reflected on the birth of our savior and had CHRISTmas music playing in our home 24/7. Was glad to clean up the tree and decorations and make the house feel a little cleaner and more open. We bought a used artificial tree last year and I am so very happy we did. This part of Oregon has beautiful Christmas tree farms ALL around...but I did not miss the mud, the mess, the getting the tree in the stand and the sharp dead needles when we took it down.

January started with my husbands birthday...his birthday is on the 1st. Our 7th anniversary was in January as well. We actually got the funds together to escape for a couple of nights. We only went down the road to a hotel...BUT the hotel was quiet, we didn't watch one kids show and the room had a jacuzzi tub and king sized bed. Ahhh...that was so needed. It had been over 2 years since we had time away. We need it more often that's for sure! I am thankful for what we did get though. I celebrated my 47th. It seems weird to be so old...almost 50. Not horrible...just odd. January is done  and gone...

February is here and will probably be over in a couple of days, or that is how it will feel. So crazy this time thing. We are trying to make plans on how and when my kiddos can get back to Hawaii...times like this I so wish I had budgeted better...made more money or was married to someone wealthy. It is so hard to make plans because I  have so many I am responsible for here. I would take them all with us...I would LOVE to share this with them. Free housing in Hawaii for short vacation...that doesn't come along often. Oh well.
February continued....
We had a baby boy placed with us recently...an almost 3 month old. He is a doll, but we are still trying to figure him out. The feeding, sleeping, comforting thing. He was sick when he came...found out at the docs he had RSV. Poor little guy. He coughed and wheezed...but he seems to be over it now. We call him Rio. It is part of his name...so we just shortened it and gave him the name of our current favorite kids movie. It works and its easy for the kids to remember. This little guy is has Latino and Native American in him...he is so handsome. Long, thick black hair, long dark eyelashes, and dark eyes. He has the sweetest smile and a sweet spirit. He will be a tough one to let go of...if that is the direction this goes. One never knows....my 'Baby Girl' loves being his big sister. She is always quite concerned about her "baby brudder!"

Tomorrow my oldest baby girl turns 24...I can handle turning 47 easier than I can handle my baby turning 24. She is my gift from God...the baby girl I so prayed for. Oh what a blessing she was and is. She is now a beautiful wife and mommy trying to figure out this adult life. Doesn't like that part much...but she is doing it and doing it just fine.

One big change in our home is the empty spot in the 'boys' room. Our oldest son decided he no longer wanted to follow ANY or our rules. He did not want to repent of the evil stuff he did and he preferred being foot loose and fancy free. He is only a Junior in High school. It's been a tough decision but one that I am now thankful for. I am sad and thankful at the same time. Sad because I know it's a HUGE mistake for him to live with his Mom but thankful too because the discomfort and stress of him living here has dissapeared. I will continue to pray for him. He has made some life long choices, ones that are going to hurt and others deeply. Too bad that some kids won't listen to their parents.

This year for me is going to full of changes. Some changes I have already made and some I know I will make, but the others will be revealed to by God somewhere down the road. He will let me know when the time is right. I am excited and yet a little nervous....as usual.

My oldest daughter will be returning to Hawaii on the 27th. My heart aches deeply everytime I think about it. My daughter inlaw will be her traveling partner this time...I am relieved and sad at the same time. It will be nice to have our house get back to 'our' normal BUT I will miss them more than words can say....it hurts so so deeply. I will be glad when the 27th is over. I dread the day they leave and just want to get it over with. I pray God would bless me to go and see them in June for the baby's 1st birthday...I NEED God to make to make that provision.....

We are blessed. We are human...we are screw up...but still God in all his awesomeness still chooses to love us and bless us. Praise His mighty name. I am eternally grateful for His love and His forgiveness.

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