Porters Portals

Really? Can it really be 2011? Seems so crazy. I for one was ready for a new year though and so were many of my family members. 2010 wasn't an easy one for many, so glad to see it go. With this year I don't have any resolutions...mainly just a desire to increase my bible study time and to truly and fully live in the love and direction of Jesus. Wanting, desiring to truly be more like him. I want to be one who fully lives by faith. I will find victory in when the difficult times come, when I feel the life which I lead is crumbling, I can stand firm in peace knowing that God has it in total control. That if anything which appears to be 'bad' is happening to me or my family, I will know and understand that God has a plan. I want to let go of this flesh that gets angry, and sad, and depressed when the trials hit. I want to be like 'Joseph' in the bible and know that I am where God wants me be GOD has a better plan and purpose and is fulfilling that plan and purpose....

We made it, she is our girl. The judge signed the papers. We were surrounded by family and friends. It was beautiful. It was hectic, chaotic, surreal and yet beautiful. My family and I met my parents, a family friend, and one of my sisters at a 'MAX' stop (that is our rail transit) and we headed to downtown Portland. At one point my husband told me what time it was and my heart fell. I knew in that instant we were going to be late. LATE? To our daughters adoption ceremony? I couldn't believe. I have not felt that sick to my stomach in so long. Once off the MAX me, my daughter in-law and two of my girls walked (pushing strollers) as fast as we could to the courthouse. When we got there the line going through security was L-O-N-G. The jurors were coming back from lunch. Oh how I wanted them to realize how much more important our business in that court house was! (lol) so we took our turn. Both my daughter in law and I beeped...ugh! I had to remove my shoes...she had to remove...

Yes I have other kids...I know I usually post pics of the baby...so I thought I would take this time to post pics of the others....

Seriously? October? How..when did that happen? I just can't believe it. Sometimes this whole 'time' thing is really hard to wrap the brain around. Life goes by so quickly. Most days I wish it didn't, but there are those days when I am glad it does. There hasn't been too many exciting events in the Porter house, aside from camps, school starting, stomach flu, and things like that. Just 'run of the mill' stuff. We had 2 monumental birthdays this summer. A 16th and a 13th. Yikes! There is exciting events in our very near future though. The adoption is only but a day away. Our entire family is over the top excited about that. Will be glad when the document is signed. Then I can take a deep breath. Today my baby has a final state conducted visit. There has been no indication of possibility of bio mom taking flight with BG, but yet my heart feels cautious. There will be 2 case workers present so that does give me some comfort. I am not worrying, but I am praying. ...

YES...we have a date. The adoption of our precious BG will be on October 5 th downtown Portland. We are having an 'adoption ceremony.' I have no idea what to expect but don't even care. Just want to be there and see it made official. This judge has known BGs bio mom for several years. I am glad it will be her signing the official document. Please never think I am being cold and callous in regards to bio mom, because I am not. She is a constant thought in my mind. I feel sad for her. My heart has broken many times over her....but right now and in the next month it will be all about my baby girl. Because God has chosen us to raise this amazing child. God has placed her in our family and though I am sad about the bio's life choices or her history I am choosing to rejoice and celebrate the gift God has given us. This little girl is amazing and I know I have done nothing in my life to deserve something so amazing. I am thankful and grateful that for whatever reason or r...

We made it to Hawaii and I have returned...alone. I had never been to Hawaii so it was exciting to see it and get to see a few historical landmarks and some traditional Hawaiian spots, such as Waikiki...BUT just as I thought my heart was weighed down the entire time. It didn't help that my little guy had a bad rash on his bottom that made him very uncomfortable and cranky and that my daughters monthly friend returned the day after we arrived there. Then the day I was to leave she developed a bladder infection. Yeh...all that really helped me want to leave...not! I needed to stay to care for them. But I did my duty and I loaded my bags, made my way through security with tears streaming down my face and then got around the corner and had a cry fest. I wanted to sob...but I at least controlled that. I only cried a few tears as my plane left the island and I left my precious kids behind. It's been hard to shake the sadness...I hope it passes. I do...I want to be happy for them and...

So, I did finally find out what the 'call' was about and it wasn't that big of deal. Something a 'loving' family member accused me of years ago and decided to resurrect it when I started fostering. The state didn't take it too seriously but had to follow up on it. I explained everything and they were satisfied. I won't go into details, just know I am ok and even more important...the kiddos are ok. All is well. The 'dark one' tried to stop what God set into motion but it didn't work. God was victorious again...like duh! Of course He was! He IS the Alpha and the Omega...the creator, the savior, the everlasting Almighty God! I am glad though that little bump in the road is done...for now! The liers and the backstabbers REALLY need to move on and get a life!